April Update.

April!!!! Yay!!! That means nicer weather and spending more time outside in the sunshine!

April started off slow, but before I knew it, it was over. I was happy to spend some time with my nieces and nephews. I am lucky that this seems to be a regular occurrence for me. It makes me so very happy. I wish some of my older nieces and nephews were closer!

John and I had parent teacher conference at the beginning of the month. I have never been more proud of Jocelynn. Her teacher had very positive things to say about Jocelynn. She continues to love math, writing, and spelling....so much so that she is excelling in those three subjects. Reading seems to be the only place she needs improvements and that is because she tends to hurry too much and doesn't really seem to enjoy it when she reads. John and I have been working with her. We seem to have found a routine that works great for her. every night when she goes to bed, she reads for 30-60 minutes. Not only has her fluency improved (she was having a problem with that) but also her love for reading has improved. She actually asks to go to bed to read. Reading and bedtime used to be a battle every night, now she looks forward to both. It has made the stress in the house much less. 

We also managed to really enjoy April vacation together. With very little fighting and arguing when it came to cleaning her room!

The month of april had it's downs for me.....lol....the screen on my iphone broke. Luckily with the apple insurance I was able to get it fixed, but it is still one of those things that stinks.

Gage celebrated his 3rd birthday. I can't believe how fast he has grown.....Aunties (not so) little man!

John was able to convince me to drive the four wheeler....I may be hooked! It is so much fun!

Easter was eventful as always! Its so fun to have the family together and watch the kids find the eggs! Jocelynn's gifts were scaled back this year, and she didn't seem to mind. Thankfully I have managed to not completely spoil her yet!

I started a new adventure! I decided to make and sell some of my jewelry. Check out my facebook page ~ https://www.facebook.com/pages/Beading-by-Sam/271575239685854 ~ and the items are available for sale on Etsy!

Also, I guess I did manage to upset Jocelynn at some point because I came across this drawing on out white board...

All in a day as a mother and father!

Congratulations to my friend Angie and her hubby Andy on the Finalized adoption of E!!!!! I am so very beyond the moon excited for the two of you!

On the ttc front.....No news. Still working on getting healthy, both physically and mentally. 

March Update!

March started with John's shoulder surgery on the 7th. Everything went great and John was in a sling for a week and on light duty at work for a month. Everything is healing great and John seems to be mostly pain free by this point. He still gets some aches ever once in a while, I mean they shaved some of the bone away in the joint. The Dr.s says he should be fully healed on 18-24 months. Already he is feeling much better and is happy to be able to work and play without too much pain!

While John was recovering for surgery I came down with a awful stomach bug. In fact, my stomach first protested in the recovery room after John's surgery. The poor nurse was taking care of me instead of John....I felt awful. I assumed it was my nerves. I was very nervous and anxious for this surgery....I'm not sure why....and didn't eat anything all day. I though now that I knew John was going to be ok, my body decided to show me how unhappy it was with me. 

That was not the case. It started at 5pm at the hospital and ended about 2am at home. I was running the the bathroom every 20-30 minutes. I couldn't even sip water because it would make me run to the bathroom sooner. I felt like I was literally dying. 

Thank goodness for my Mom. Once again she comes to the rescue. She ended up having to take care of John, myself, and Jocelynn. At one point my vomiting was so bad she was ready to put me in the car and take to the ER. Which for her to get to that point, you know things must be pretty bad. 

My biggest concern was making sure John didn't come down with this awful bug. I couldn't imagine vomiting right after shoulder surgery....but he did. Both Mom and John ended up with the bug. Not as bad as what I had, thank goodness, but still miserable none the less. Mom ended up down and out for a few hours on the 9th and John vomited just a couple times on the morning of the 10th. Lets just say that weekend and most of that week was a "trying to get better" for all of us.

It took all of us a good 4-6 day to "get back to normal". All of us lived on scrambled eggs, toast, and roman noodles for most of the week.

By the 11th I was able to get of the couch for more then just bathroom breaks, and the weather was so warm that day. I decided to open the windows and doors and Lysol as much space as I could. I definitely did not want that bug to hang around.

The end of March I was able to spend a bit of time with my nieces and nephew. I love them so much and they bring so much joy to my heart.

One of my favorite pictures of Keira and Gage!

With the nicer weather that March brought, Jocelynn has been spending most of her days (when not in school) outside! She loves to ride her bike and scooter, and jump rope. I also love that she has a few friends who live in the neighborhood and she is able to go from house to house to play or they all come to our house (we have the swing set). I also imagine I will be see most of them a lot during the summer since we are the house with the pool!

Also, with the nicer weather, John has had spring fever. The Fourwheeler seems to be a favorite activity for both John and Jocelynn. I'm glad we have some trails up the road so they can enjoy.

John and Jocelynn enjoying a ride around the yard! Thank goodness all that white stuff in the background is now gone!

Oh, and a proud sister moment, my brother made the front page of the local newspaper. I don't alway brag about either of my brother (I am super proud of both) but Cory being a firefighter scares me everyday, but I am also so very proud of what he does!

Update on 2014 so far....

Here we are in March.....already. I can't believe time flies so quickly.

January and February were filled with Snow, Snow, and more snow.... It is crazy how much it has snowed here.

The tree in the front yard. It is know half way blocked by a snow bank.

I have also spent lots of time with Gage and Keira. Its so nice to have little ones around.

The two munchkins!

I have spent all of this year so far sick. Started at the end of December, which I finally went to the Dr. in January. I had an outer ear infection, two different medications over two weeks cleared that up...or actually moved it to a middle ear infection with bronchitis. So an antibiotic, otc sinus med, and 2 cough meds later it cleared up for about 4 days right around my birthday.

But I was sick again after a few days, went back to the dr. because I still had a horrible cough, a super sore throat, and was super tired. I would sleep 8-10 hours at night and then take a 2-3 hour nap in the middle of the day. She tested me for strep throat and mono...both tests came back negative, it was a virus. I just couldn't catch a break.

Still today, 2 months after the dx of the first ear infection I still have a cough and sore throat. I am waiting for a call from the ENT Dr. My pcp told me my tonsils are huge, and I am afraid I have tonsillitis and will need my tonsils removed. As scared as I am of the pain I would be in from the removal, I can no longer deal with the pain in my throat at this time. At least with the surgery I know the pain will end, right now I don't know if it will ever.

Jocelynn has been doing fantastic in school. She is "extremely bright and a joy to have in class" her teacher says. She is also an exceptional writer. She is writing at a 3rd grade level and is able to add detail and voice when she writes. She seems to enjoy to write and I pray she continues if it makes her happy. I can't believe we are in the last half of 2nd grade for her. I wish she would slow down!

Jocelynn and Spanky

In February I turned 35.....I know some people make a big deal out of this number, but for me it was just another day.

John and I decided this year to purchase one large gift for each other for all the holidays - birthday, mother/father day, anniversary, etc. ~ So john purchased a four wheeler so he can go trail riding with his buddy. He is like a little kid. I am happy to see him so happy and I hope and pray he will get out often because he needs some time with the guys.

John and his four wheeler

I decided my gift would be a girls weekend with my CO sisters. These ladies have been there for me for over 7 years now. I couldn't imagine making it through this infertility battle without them! I can't wait to meet many of them for the first time in June and I know it is going to be a blast that weekend!

The house being rented for Girls Weekend!

John and I also booked our annual Myrtle Beach trip. September never comes fast enough for this trip! I can't wait to spend time with family and friends again and just relax!

Home Sweet Home in Myrtle Beach!

Today John is having surgery on his shoulder. He has arthritis and bone spurs in the joint and a small tear in his rotator cuff. The Dr. is optimistic that they will not need to repair the tear which means John will be in a sling for a week and on light duty at work for a month. Prayers would be greatly appreciated for this!

On the TTC front.....obviously no new baby. John and I have decided to focus on getting healthy. I have started a new exercise challenge/routine with my fantastic CO sisters and I am truly enjoying it!

We have decided that we are content with having only one child. Jocelynn is a miracle and a true blessing. I thank God everyday that she is in my life. Would we like another child, of course, the likely hood of that happening is slim to none. But, God has His plans for my life and I trust those plans are amazing and I am willing to follow this path that He has set out for us.

Long Overdue Update!!!

Wow....over a year since I last updated....Lets see if I can update all in one post....lol

February 2013: John and I purchased a new car! We traded in the GMC Envoy for a 2013 Kia Rio. I was worried about the size difference, but now a year later I can say it really isn't a problem. Plus, we are saving money on the payment and gas!!

The new car!!!\

I turned 34, which was a huge deal.

March 2013: Jocelynn tried Karate! She seemed to really like the first 2 classes, but then decided that it wasn't fer her. It was an expensive adventure, but if she had wanted to do it then I would have supported her.

The end of March saw the ending of a era....at least for me. I left my job at the shelter. After 9 years I had enough and decided it was time. To this day I miss the people I worked with (not management) and all the animals, but it was the correct decision of my sanity and to save John and I's marriage!

April 2013: I was able to get a new job as a receptionist with a local eye doctor. I really enjoyed it at first, but then I was asked to do things I was morally comfortable doing so I left that job at the end of August.

My Handsome Nephew, Gage Robert, turned 2!

Can't believe he is 2!

May 2013: May brought the nice weather and that chance to get outside!

I along with my sister-in-law and a friend were able to see one of my favorite bands in concert ~ NEEDTOBREATHE at the House of Blues in Boston! I can say it was amazing and I can't wait to go see them again!

NEEDTOBREATHE!

Jocelynn had her first dance recital! What a proud mommy moment! She was fantastic and seemed to really enjoy dancing on stage!

All dressed up for recital!

Jocleynn is the 6th from the left

Memorial day weekend we were able to make our first trip to the beach! What a refreshing day out in the sun near the water. I swear we are all happier when we are in the sun on the beach (even when the water is to cold to do more then dip your feet in for a few minutes!).

My favorite shot from our first beach trip!

June 2013: Happy Anniversary!!!! John and I celebrated 11 years of marriage. Man it went by fast!

We also were able to visit friends while they were camping and had a blast!

Jocelynn and her friend Zach!

He really loved her!

Jocelynn "graduated" from the 1st grade! My baby is growing up way too fast!

July 2013: Sun and Heat!!!! It was lovely!

In July we were able to get out, enjoy the pool and go camping!

My favorite picture of the rug rats in the pool!

We also found out that Jocelynn has a dairy intolerance. She is not completely lactose intolerant, but can only have a limited amount of dairy at a time. We have stared giving her almond milk and she really enjoys it. In fact she will drink the almond milk much easier then I could get her to drink the regular milk, so that is a bonus. I have changed out eating habits to modify for less dairy, or make a substitute for her. Most of the time she can not tell of the substitute, but every once in a while it is awful! It is a learning curve and I will keep moving forward with it! I hate seeing my baby in pain with the awful stomach cramps!

August 2013: Happy Birthday John!!! John turned 36. The love of my life is getting old...lol. I tease him I am going to trade him in for two 18 year olds, but he knows better!

I left the job at the eye doctor for moral reasons!

September 2013: Jocelynn started the 2nd grade......*sigh*

As a result of the issues from the eye doctor job, I was having severe anxiety attacks. I decided to go to the Dr. I was tired of the lack of motivation and wanting to sleep more then be awake. What was my diagnosis? Severe Depression....WHAT!?!?!?  I started a medication routine that consisted at first on 10mg of Citalopram and 3000 iu of Vitamin D3. I did have to up the Citalopram to 20mg once a day, and that seems to be a good dose for me. I go back in June of 2014 for a med check.

At the end of the month we took our (what is becoming annual) family trip to Myrtle Beach, SC. It was a wonderful week at the beach with family and friends! The drive was awful, but with the new car we were able to drive down, around town for the week and home for less than $250. I could get 1 plane ticket for that! So financially it made a lot of sense!

Our home away from home for 8 days!

One of our favorite attractions!!!

My beautiful Niece, Keira Chanel, turned 1!!!!

Happy 1st Birthday!

October 2013: John and I ordered a new sleep number bed!!! Our old mattress was 13 years old so it was time for a new one. We priced mattresses for 2-3 months and realized that the sleep number was in the same price range as regular mattresses with a better warranty! So we bought it! It was one of the best decisions we ever made! Both John and I have slept like babies!!!

With my visit to the Doctor in September, she suggested I have a sleep study done. So after fighting the insurance company, the approved an at home sleep study. Not as bad as it sounds and I was able to have a fairly normal nights sleep! What the study showed was abnormal sleep pattern, so an appointment with a neurologist was scheduled for January.

John also had to go to see an Orthopedic because he had some severe shoulder pain. After an MRI, it was determined that he has arthritis and bone spurs in the joint and a small tear on his rotator cuff. He decided to try some anti inflammatory medication to help with the pain. The Dr. told him that most of the pain was most likely from the arthritis and bone spurs not the tear.

Keira took her first steps during a family dinner get together so we were able to all witness and video tape it!

November 2013: Brooke Elizabeth turns 8!!!

The beautiful birthday girl!!

We decided to have family picture done as a large group this year, there are 12 of us! As well as individual groups! The turned out great!

Our 2013 family picture

Our beautiful baby girl!

The four kids!!!

The entire family!!!

Decemeber 2013: Jocelynn Noelle turned 8!!!! Man the time has flown by! Where is my baby?!?!

"8 years ago my life changed in ways I never imagined but for the better! At 1:58 am we 
welcomed our beautiful daughter, Jocelynn Noelle, into the world. 
You are my world and I am so very happy and proud to be known as your mom!
 I love you very much!!! Happy 8th Birthday my miracle child, you truely are a blessing from God!"

As a SAHM, I decided to start some crafts. My first was a homemade, double sided tree skirt. I was able to finish the first side this year and will finish the second side next year. I think it came out fairly nice!

Not too bad!

John decided that the anti inflammatory drugs were not working, so he decided to try a cortizone shot to get through the holidays! It worked grate but only lasted about 6-8 weeks.

So.....there is my 2013 update. Thanks for reading all the way to the end, I will post more later!

Week 5...

Amazing how much changes in a course of a few weeks.

So here we are in week 5 and I am 99% normal (let's be honest I was never 100% normal anyways). In fact I have been 99% normal since week 3/4. The only lasting side affect I have is the damn weepy eye. Luckily it only bothers me when the room is low lit or dark and I am staring at a screen (phone, computer, or tv screen).

In other medical news, I went for my annual echocardiogram (which was 2 years overdue) for my pulmonic stenosis. The results are good - no significant increase in it. This is great news! No change means no need to try and "fix" the issue. One more year of not worrying about whether or not I may need open heart surgery!

Jocelynn had her first dance recital! I think I was just as nervous as she was! She did FANTASTIC!!!! She kept telling me all day that she didn't want to go to her same show. But I just explained that there were people counting on her to be there. So she participated and loved it! She can't wait for the recital in May which will involve a costume and make-up!

John and I purchased a new car! We got rid of the gas guzzling, needed too much money to fix envoy! We replaced it with a beautiful, fully loaded Kia Rio! I LOVE it!

On the 8th we had one of the largest snow storms I remember. We had between 2 and 3 FEET of snow. In fact after plowing, the snow banks are taller than Jocelynn and she is 52 inches tall! Jocelynn has been enjoying playing in the snow which includes her favorite of sledding down the snow piles!

So....I turned 34 on the 10th. It was a weird birthday for me. I was excited (like I usually am) but I wasn't dreading it either. It was kinda just another day. Maybe because I was so focused on Jocelynn's dance recital (which was the same day).

On the TTC front....no news. John has been working a bit out of town, which it makes it hard to coordinate and I am focusing right now on loosing weight.

I have made small milestones in the weight loss! I have cut out soda except for Fridays at lunch and stayed within my calorie range and tracked my food on a more consistent basis! My next milestone to accomplish is to add excessive 3 times a week for 30 minutes each time (small steps - this will be increased!)

End of a crazy week

So....we are at the end of a crazy week!

I am feeling better, still on the mend. After 4 days of medication I don't see too much improvement. The ladies at work told me I looked better today, so that is good but yesterday was an very fought day. Yesterday I was in a lot of pain...my eye wouldn't stop weeping and in fact I had to wear the eye patch at work to get anything done, the computer screen hurt to look at.

I am still havering to wear the eye patch at night, it's not as annoying as I thought it was going to be. I am sleeping quiet well with it on, but I can't wait until I don't have to wear it.

My mouth and speech makes me self conscious. I am speaking out of the right side of my mouth, but I will continue to work on improving the muscle function.

Jocelyn. Had her first play date after school with a friend that lives in the block. They seem to have struck up quiet the friendship and are adorable together.

Yesterday was her annual check up. As usual the doctor is concerned with her weight, and after my scare this week, there are a lot of changed being made in the house this weekend. Other then the that the doctor said she is looking great and smart as a whip. She is 52 inches tall ( at 7 years old) and had perfect eyesight (thank goodness she takes after daddy!)

John is still dealing with a bit of pain in his neck/back from the degenerated disks. We are still in conversation mode with the doctor on the best course to help him manage his pain. Our last option is surgery and I don't know what that entails an how much mobility he would have with that route. I think physical therapy and/or a chiropractor is our first step.

Here is praying for a quieter, less stressful an exciting week to come!

Quieter now

Not too much has happened so far in the first week of the new year.

Jocelynn went back to school on the 2nd, so the evening have been full of a very tired child. It is amazing how they forget the routine in such a short amount of time. This week dance and Girl Scouts start back up, which means another week of grumpy and tired Jocelynn!

Happy Birthday to my wonderful mother! She turned 57 on the 4th. We haven't had a chance to have family dinner, but that will happen this week (as long as my brother gets over the flu and no one else catches it).

John and I are looking into a possible vacation soon. Unfortunately there are too many places we want to go, so I guess make decided where to go is first on the list!

On the TTC front, obviously still no positive test. I can't believe is has been a year since we miscarried first, and almost a year since the second. Which means we should have a little one here (between a few weeks and a couple months old). If only It had been in Gods plan for one of them to thrive.

I will be starting my herbal supplements again, as well as work on my weight loss. I know I have to patient, but that is easier said then done, but it is all in Gods plan not mine!

Jocelynn's Surgery

Jocelynn had surgery on June 29th to remove her tonsils and adenoids. I think I was nor anxious about it then she was.

We scheduled her surgery about 4 weeks in advance. I wanted a chance to talk to her about it, but not leave her anxious and nervous about it for too long. She asked my periodically about it, what to expect, how she would feel, who else had the same surgery, if I would be there...the normal questions a 6 year old would ask when faced with the unknown. It was also unknown for me. I have not had that surgery, my brother Cory did when we were little, but I don't remember his recovery. 

The night before surgery was interesting. Jocelynn and I both slept fine (completely shocking to me), I figured she and I would be up all night worrying....you know that is what us mothers do.  :)

We had to be at Wentworth Douglass Hospital at 7am....that was the tough part, waking Jocelynn up...lol.

They took her back for surgery around 9:30. I was able to go into the operating room and hold her hand until she drifted to sleep. That was comforting for both her and I....more for me I think.

Jocelynn in her room recovering from surgery...watching a little T.V.

By 11am we were on the pediatric ward for recovery. She did not spend more than 15-20 in the recover room after surgery. Unfortunately she woke up before I got back to her in recovery - she did great until she saw me and that was when the sobbing tears started. She was a trooper, by the time I got to her in recovery she had 3-4 "bites" of her Popsicle, and was asking for more.

Her biggest complaint was that she could talk and she didn't think she was swallowing at first. The nurse and I had to explain that was the special medicine they put on her throat for the surgery. I'm a bad parent and have to admit that I didn't understand what she was saying. The nurse had to explain to me what she was telling me. Also, now I can look back at it and chuckle....I know she wasn't in pain and she is fine now...so why not have a little chuckle!

We were headed home by 1pm....I was ready to get her home and "baby" her! Before we left she ate 2 Popsicle and drank an entire cup of apple juice and water. She was actually asking for food, the poor thing was hungry as it had been almost 18 hours since she had anything to eat. Unfortunately the only thing they said she could have that had any kind of substance was Jell-o. She ate 3 containers of Jello that night.

The Dr. gave her liquid Vicodin for the pain. She hated the taste and after 3 days of taking it every 4 hours we decided to let her decide if she wanted it...she didn't...until 1 week out. The Dr. told me that at 7-10 days the scabs would fall off and her throat would be painful...sure enough, she was on the Vicodin for 2 more days and then she was done.

I am a very proud Mommy! All the worries I had about her pain tolerance, Would she try and remove the I.V., and possible fight to keep her hydrated was for nothing! She was a trooper and did exactly what she was supposed to!

This is the I.V....that is quite the bandage! It never bothered Jocelynn!

Here is praying that there are no more surgeries in the future...as "easy" as this one was, it still sucks when your child is hurt and you can't do anything to make them feel better!

June Update

WOW....explaining what didn't happen in June may be easier.... Happy Blogoversary to me. I can't believe I started this blog 4 year ago, and unfortunately life has prevented me from updating as frequently but, I still try.

June started out with a Very Happy 10th Anniversary for John and I. We were able to get away for 3 days (without Jocelynn, which was harder then I thought it would be!) Thank goodness for my Mom and Dad who helped with caring for Jocelynn and getting her to and from school while we were away.

We went to Adventure Suites. We decided to go Sunday - Tuesday (Sunday and Monday night) because the room price was cheaper. Sunday night we stayed in the Love Shack, and although I was a little concerned with sleeping on a water bed, it was comfortable and we had now problems. Monday night we decided to spoil ourselves, it was our 10th Anniversary after all, and booked the Jungle Room. This room was worth every penny! We had a fantastic time! The service and people at the hotel were great and even surprised us with a place card that said "Thank you for choosing Adventure Suites and Happy 10th Anniversary!" it was a very sweet added touch. John and I had not been to Adventure suites since 2008 when he surprised me for our 6th Anniversary. It was nice to reconnect as a couple!

Then it was back to reality... which meant someone was sick. Jocelynn came down with non-group A Strep Throat, 2 days before Graduating from Kindergarten and 2 weeks before her surgery to remove her tonsils and adenoids. Luckily she started to get better on her own (before the strep throat was confirmed) but placed her on antibiotics anyways to make sure she was well by surgery.

Jocelynn in her cap and gown for Kindergarten graduation.

Two days later, (friday 6/15/2012) she graduated from Kindergarten. Complete with Cap and Gown. I can't believe she starts 1st grade in the fall. My baby is growing up so fast. The Graduation was cute and Jocelynn was able to read with her fellow graduate. It was a very proud Mommy moment. I was pretty surprised how together I kept it. In fact I wouldn't have teared up at all if it hadn't been for Jocelynn's teacher, Mrs. L. When Mrs. L gave Jocelynn her diploma, she teared up when saying a few words about how much she has enjoyed having Jocelynn in her class and how much she will be missed next year. And you know me, the moment she stared getting choked up, my eyes teared up as well. Luckily We have not had to say our real good-byes since they offer a summer camp and that is where Jocelynn will be this summer. The end of August will be hard. I truly adore Mrs. L and feel blessed to have found her for Jocelynn and had her teaching and influence for the last 2 years.


The following Monday was her pre-surgical visit with Mr O'Day's PA Jodie. She was great! She answered my Many, many, MANY questions and made me feel at ease (as much as you can) with the surgery. The entire office was fantastic and seemed to understand that I was nervous, more nervous then the actual patient.

Surgery was Friday, 6/29, and what a day it was. I will go into more detail in my next post(as this post is becoming very long.). Just know that she did fine and is completely healed (we are 3 weeks out) and it was not as bad as I thought it was going to be.....Thank Goodness. I don't know if I could have handled the worst case situation!

On the TTC front....still nothing. If there was you would have known by now...LMAO! I was hopeful for June since I was ovulation around the time of our Anniversary trip, but at last it was not in God's plan. I am being patient and leaving it all in his hands. Mean while we are still trying and I am working at loosing some weight. 4 pound down.....WAY to many to go!

May Update

May was a little more on the quiet side. It was nice.

I was able to get Jocelynn registered for 1st grade. Can you believe how fast my baby is growing up. She seemed a little overwhelmed with all the kids coming into the school, and she is still not sold on riding the bus. She says I can drop her off at school every morning, which I can, my schedule allows it. I also am not excited about her riding the school bus, but that is just the overprotective me.

Jocelynn also turned into my toothless child. Loosing 3 teeth in 2 days (all in the front). It is really cute when she smiles. I hope we have a little break and she doesn't loose anymore until some of them grow back in.

Here she is missing 3 of her front teeth.

For Memorial Day, Jocelynn and her Daisy troop were in the Berwick Memorial Day Parade. I never realized how much walking was included. She enjoyed it, and at the end the troop sang "God Bless America" and did a great job!

Walking in the parade.

I also found out that I will be getting another niece on October. Jeremy and Ashley are having a little girl! I can't wait. That day will be full of amazing gifts. My oldest niece, Jekka, will be marrying Decklyn on the same day my youngest niece is due to be born........amazing!!!

On the TTC front......nada! I'm not surprised, hopeful, but realistic as well. John and I have decided to focus on becoming healthy. Loosing weight and making better choices overall with our lifestyle. I can do this, especially if it gets me one step closer to having another child.

Jocelynn's Surgery

Yes, Jocelynn is having surgery. She needs her tonsils and Adenoids removed. So, when our health insurance was officially active on May 1st, I called the Dr. June 29th is her scheduled surgery date. I picked that date for 2 reasons, it is after her Kindergarten Graduation (June 15th) and she doesn't have daycare for the July 4th week. With her surgery being on the 29th, her recuperation will be the week of July 4th. So instead of having to take 2 weeks off (the July 4th week because there was no summer camp and post surgery recuperation week, I combined them....I know I'm a genius sometimes....lol)

I'm not going to lie, I am nervous as all get not. My baby girl is having surgery...eeeekkk. Everyone can tell me she is fine, Her Dr. is one of the best, he does this all the time, it like second nature for him....I don't care, it's MY BABY GIRL!!!!!

It was so bad, my heart was racing as I was talking to nurse and scheduling it....*sigh*

She knows she is going to have surgery at some point, I just haven't told her it is scheduled. She has been very nervous about it since we left the Dr. office back in Nov/Dec. I will tell her, I'm just not sure when. I want to do it far enough in advance as to not "spring it" on her at the last minute, but not far enough that she worried herself sick over it (which she will do). I have told her that when she has her treatment so her throat doesn't hurt....and that seems to be ok, it seems to the the big S word (surgery) that freaks her out. 

I guess time will tell, and I am sure she will handle it better then I give her credit for, she usually does.

February Update

Here is the beginning of the updates.........

What happen in February???? 

First off, let me start by providing before and after pictures of Jocelynn's haircut. She was able to donate around 11 inches to locks of love.

Before....her hair was so long!

After the hair cut!

I was offered full-time at work on January 30th. As much I loved my schedule of working 32 hours, the new 40 hour schedule came with benefits that begin on 5/1/2012! 

February also marks another Birthday for me......33! After 30, another year isn't that bad except for the fact that I am moving closer and closer to 40....

With it being my Birthday month (when you get to a certain age, you celebrate all month!) I was able to have some fun times with some of my closest friends. Alaine, Kayla and Ashley came over on the 4th for Girls night in and then I spent the 11th shopping until we dropped with Andrea! What more could a girl ask for???

February was still pretty calm and laid back, with the weather being still cold and yuck, there isn't much to do outside. Our schedule gets supper busy when the warmer weather hit.

On the TTC front, John and I did receive some very happy news only to be hit with some very sad news. We managed to find out we were pregnant (finally) only to get devastating news a  few days later. Miscarriage is never something I want to hear about, but to experience it twice in 3 months is truly heartbreaking. December 20th and February 20th (both months with important event happening and joyful family times) will forever be slightly painful and tinged with an amount of sadness. 

November Thank You Post 2 - 11/2/11

Day 2 (11-2-2011) - I am thankful for my beautiful daughter Jocelynn! She truly is my miracle and she makes my world a better place with her smile and Laughter!


I could go on and on about how much this beautiful little girl means to me. I love her more
then I thought was possible to love anyone. She gives me a reason to smile everyday!  <3 <3

Jocelynn with the first snowman of the season!

August!!

August....I think is the busiest month of the summer!

We celebrated John's 34th birthday!(I'm thinking it is time to trade in for newer models.....just kidding I love my husband!) I took him out to Texas Roadhouse for his birthday dinner and the following Thursday we had family dinner here with my brothers and parents. He was able to purchase quiet a bit of parts for his airplane and get his latest one running and ready to fly. He seems very excited for this!

July was also the airshow at Pease International Tradeport. It was awesome as usual. John and I were able to enjoy the show with Jeremy and John's friend Alan (who he flies with) and Janelle (Alan's girlfriend). Jocelynn stayed at home with my mom, it is just too hot for her. John and I are talking about taking her with us next year because the airshow is in June. We had a great time and enjoyed it much better than last years as we were prepared (we brought an entire backpack with water, sunscreen and lawn chairs)!

We also were able to go to the movies for back to back shows (something I had never done) with my friend Alaina and her dad. We saw Cowboys and Aliens and Captain America. Both good movies, but I enjoyed Cowboys and Aliens more!

John did end up at the Dr.'s and then at the hospital for testing. He had severe stomach cramps/burning. Thankfully we found out it wasn't anything major it was severe heartburn/acid reflux, but it was very scary. Praise the Lord for keeping him safe. He is currently on medication 2x a day and is supposed to watch what he eats (which he is not.....but who really wants too...lol). So hopefully we can calm his stomach down and he will not have to deal with the pain anymore!

August also brought Hurricane Irene.....the first in many years. We were blessed, and it wasn't nearly as bad as they predicted (at least in my area, other areas did get hit hard). Jocelynn was very anxious and scared. I tried to reassure, but finally her and I went down into the basement to watch movies. Thankfully we never lost power, but the wind and rain was pretty severe!

On the TTC front......August saw cycle 60..... That just sounds awful! 60 cycles over 4 years and 9 months. I will never give up until I am too old to try!  So it ended with a BFN, but I believe it was a chemical pregnancy. The fact that I was late (30 days instead of my usual 28 days) and the cramps were the worst I have had in a long time! So here is to cycle 61 (one day I am going to get to share happy news! I have faith in God!)

July!!!!

4th of July weekend was fun! I had a couple friends over and we danced our rears off! John, Jocelynn and I ended up at the park/beach for the 4th. We had fun, but it was not the same without the Alexander clan....man I miss them!

Big news for the summer...Jocelynn can swim!!! Actually dog paddle...but it is still swimming! She also has become much more comfortable going under water. We purchased her a pair of goggles and she spends almost as much time under water as above. She is adorable!

Jocelynn's horseback riding lessons are going good! She really seams to love taking care of the horse and looks forward every week to Tuesday. I also think John and I look forward to them too. Tracy has 2 horses, Moe and Logan. Jocelynn takes care of and rides Moe and John and I take care of and walk Logan! We even got to experience what it would be like (at least in the evenings) to own a horse. Tracy and her family went on vacation at the end of July and asked us if we would take care of the horses. Of course we said yes. So for 2 nights we all went to the barn and fed, gave hay, cleaned hoofs and brushed Moe and Logan. They have become part of our family and I adore them so much!

July also saw me taking a couple days off to spend with Jocelynn! We had a couplke mommy and Jocelynn days. It was much needed! We spent the day together shopping, we went out to breakfast and lunch and spent the afternoon by the pool. We loved it! I hope there will be a few more of these in the future!

On the TTC front....July saw cycle 58 and 59...both BFN. I am trying to keep my faith and know and follow God's plan....but it hurts!

Happy 4th of July!

So this past week has been interesting!

First of all, my hours at work have increased (from 28 to 32 and this was the first week) I am tired and miss having the extra time with Jocelynn, but we need the money!

On Sunday (6/26) I was able to watch my Nephew (almost 11 weeks old). It was fun and I always enjoy having my nieces and nephews around! But man, I forgot how much work it was having an infant. We went to a birthday party and I was physically exhausted when we got back home. Looks like I need more practice (with one of my own!!!! soon I hope!)

Jocelynn's riding lessons were great this past week. I decided to let her and Tracy do the lesson without me hovering (I am afraid I have become one of those helicopter mom's). It was surprisingly hard for me to do. I believe I enjoy these lesson's as much as she does! I think it was better for Jocelynn and that she listened much better the instructions that Tracy was giving her! I will try again this week to relinquish control!

Also I am happy to report that Jocelynn is now having no accidents at night and hasn't had one in over a month! WOOHOO for my big girl!

It is the 4th of July weekend. What are our plans you ask? NOTHING! In the past we have spent the holiday with family at the park, but at last those family members have moved away.....man I miss them!!!!

I am having just a couple of friends (from work) over to enjoy the evening. We are headed to a co-workers house for a small party and then home to dance our butts of with the X-box! I am hoping to just have fun!

I am hoping I can convince John to go see fireworks somewhere. In the 11 years we have been together we have not been to the fireworks (more importantly, Jocelynn has never been!) Maybe this year I can change that!

Happpy 4th of July to all and have a safe and fun holiday weekend!

Summer is soooo busy!

What has been going on in the last month since my last full post????

Cory turned 30.....It makes me feel old!

John and I celebrated our 9th wedding anniversary! I feel like the luckiest woman on the planet!

Also on the same day my beautiful, oldest niece, Jessica, got engaged!!! I am so happy for her and can't wait to celebrate with her and Decklyn!

Jocelynn and I had a blast during her field-trip to Funtown (6/3/11).... Every time we go to an amusement park I get a not to pleasant reminder of just how tall my child is! She was able to go on all but 2 of the ride by herself and was too tall for 2 of the kiddie rides..... *sigh*

Jocelynn driving the adult bumper boats by herself.....

On 6/4/11 we had the privilege to see Brooke dance at her recital. I'm not gonna lie, I was one super proud auntie! In fact it made me a little teary eyed to see what a beautiful and talented little girl my youngest niece has become! 

Jocelynn had an end of year ceremony for Daisy Girl Scouts on 6/8/11. She recieved 2 petals (and the center) to her daisy flower, a cookie patch, a patch for her museum visit, her American flag patch, Girl Scouts of Maine patch, and her Daisy Journey Patch (for learning and caring for animals) Along with her Daisy and Trefoil pin. Not too bad for Joining towards the end of the year!

I am also hoping to become the co-leader. I think Shana and I would have a blast with the girls.....time will tell!

Jocelynn receiving her Daisy Patches!

Jocelynn also graduated from pre-school on 6/17/11. Again, I was a very proud mommy and I was very happy that I didn't cry at all during the ceremony (or before or after). I am still waiting for that emotional breakdown.....

Jocelynn receiving her diploma from her teacher Mrs. Locke

My Graduate!

John and I were also happy that his parents were able to make it up for the graduation and stayed from Thursday (6/16/11) through Tuesday (6/21/11). It was a great visit and hopefully we can have another visit again soon!

As her graduation present, John and I decided to get her something extra special. A Guinea Pig!!! We adopted him from my work (CVHS), his name was Leo but Jocelynn decided to rename him Snuggles! She is very good with him! She is great about remembering to feed him and pat him and take care of all his needs. In fact she had about $9 saved up (from the tooth fairy and various dollar bills she has been given).

Monday night, Jocelynn gets the $9.

"What is that for?" I ask

"I have to buy Snuggles food" Jocey answers

I'm not gonna lie....I was impressed! How mature of her!

So Wednesday we decide to head to the store (we needed groceries and some bedding for Snuggles)

We get to Petco, Jocelynn grabs one of the mini carts (the one with the flags that say "Shopper in Training") and heads to the Guinea Pig Section!

She grabs the bedding and a new water bottle (his current one leaks) and says "come on Mom, lets go."

I ask "Jocelynn, is there anything else you want to look at?"

"No," she says, " I don't have enough money for anything else."

Again.....how old is she......I didn't realize how mature my daughter was!

We head to the checkout, Jocelynn places the 2 items on the counter. The cashier tells her the amount (which is more than what she has) so I reach into my pocket.

Jocelynn looks at me and raises her hand and says "Mom.....I got this!"  (I snickers.....what?)

So I tell her that it is more than what she has for money.

Jocelynn gets serious and says,"What? I don't have enough money.....I guess I will have to loose a couple more teeth to pay you back!"

Again, I laughed. I didn't mean to, she just caught me off guard. I love this little girl and she definitely keeps me on my toes!

Jocelynn and Snuggles!

John and I have had a little hiatus from the gym....We are headed back this weekend!!! I can tell a difference and it isn't good!  John has lost 32 pounds (according to the Dr. who he saw this week) I am so proud of him!!!! Check out my weightloss blog to follow our progress....

Horseback riding lessons are going good. Jocelynn really loves them. It seems to be the highlight of her week! (along with caring for Snuggles)

WOW, like I said, the summer is busy! I will have to try harder to update more often so I don't have so much in one post!

Still here....

The last 10 days have been a little slower, more relaxed, but still busy.

Jocelynn's first horseback riding lesson was canceled on the 17 (due to weather, it has been pretty much nonstop rain here), she was disappointed, but understood. Thankfully the weather held out last night and she was able to complete her first lesson!!!!

Riding Mo for the first time!

She is very excited about going back each week. I love the lesson she is learning about caring for a horse and how much work it is! Also we will be entering a few competition, I am a very proud Momma right now!

Dance lessons are on the back burner again.....John is not working steadily. Once he gets a new job (which is applying for new one every day) or his current job picks up on work we will sign her up.

John and I are still making it to the gym every other night. I actually look forward to going to the gym now....what a change in my attitude. I am excited to see what the end of the month brings, how much total weight we each have lost and how many inches!!!

I am also excited about celebrating our Anniversary (2 weeks from Friday). I can't believe I have been married to this wonderful man for 9 years! 

Life is moving.....

...and moving...lol

WHat has been going on you ask? A lot!

Jocelynn is coming to the end of the school year. I am so proud of the progress she has made and everything she has learned. I am excited to see her final report card, spending the day with her at Fun Town for the end of year field trip (6/3) and watching her graduate from Pre-School (sometime around 6/17).

Also Jocelynn had only 1 accident for the month of April! So proud of her! John and I decided to take her bowling! It was so much fun!!!!!

Jocelynn's Turn! The Bowling Ball was a little to heavy....lol

She also had a Dr. appointment this past monday. (5/9) Nothing to worry too much about, basically a weight check. In December the Dr. was concerned with her weight, we had an appointment with a nutritionist, and have been trying to have healthier options to eat and snack on and get in more activity. Dr. A just wanted to see the progress we made, and check her weight and height. I am happy to say he is pleased, also I am "upset" to say that Jocelynn has grown 1.5 inches since December....... WOW.....what happened to my little girl? We will also go back in at the end of summer to see how she is doing.

As busy as life is right now, it is only going to get busier.....Along with her Daisy meetings, this week Jocelynn will begin horseback riding lessons and I will be calling this week to sign her up for dance classes (starting early June) at Northern Explosion Dance Studio. She excited about all these activities and it will keep us on the go!!!!

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On to TTC news......this month was a BFN. On to month 57.....

Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” ~ Matthew 22:37 

2 weeks....

WOW....2 weeks flies by. It has been CRAZY!!!

I finally had my eye Dr. Appointment on 4/8....It was nice walk out paying nothing! My insurance paid for the entire exam. I was able to purchase 2 complete pair of glasses (online) for under $20 (this included shipping) check out Zenni Optical for the deals!

The glasses finally arrived on 4/25.... here is pair ONE!

Mulan had her annual vet check-up.....she is a healthy 8.5 lbs and is in great health! The vet was very pleased!

Spanky went to the vet...he had to have surgery. He had 2 lumps on his legs and 2 teeth removed. He was very pitiful that night, but is feeling much better now. Here he is the night sfter surgery with his boo boo foot....

Jocelynn had her first field trip with the Daisy troop on the 19th. We went to the Dover Children's Museum. She had a blast and it was really fun to see her playing with her peers.
Here she is in the "queen" throne and as Godzilla....LMAO!

Easter was awesome! It was great to spend the morning at church and the afternoon with family! Jocelynn and Brooke were super cute looking for eggs and Gage was wonderful! Jocelynn was spoiled, per the usual but thankfully there was not a lot of candy to temp John and I off of our diets! Here is Jocelynn in her beautiful Easter Dress and the eggs we colored the day before.

On the TTC front.....it was a BFN this month. So on to cycle 56......John and I are still working on loosing this weight which I know will help us reach our goal of adding another child to our family. So far this month John and I have lost a total of 28.20 pounds....not too bad. I am very proud of us!

This is National Infertility Awareness Week! 1 in 8 couples are diagnosed with infertility.There is a great article here about talking about infertility which still seems taboo to most people. Another great website is RESOLVE . Any thing you need to know is all right there. Education is the key and one day infertility may not be so taboo (remember when talking about breast cancer was taboo.....we will get there!) Another great article (here) about changing the perception on infertility!

I am blessed to have a beautiful daughter (when so many of my sisters are waiting on their first blessing), it took us 3.5 years to conceive her with the help of a RE  and medication......we have been trying for #2 now for over 4 years.......just because I have a beautiful blessing doesn't mean I don't feel the pain of infertility. The anguish and sorrow of being broken. Not feeling like a real woman because I can't do the one thing God put me on this earth to do.

My wonderful husband and daughter and my faith in God has helped me deal and realize the blessing I do have and that my journey in motherhood is not over and we WILL be blessed again! All in God's time!