March Update!

March started with John's shoulder surgery on the 7th. Everything went great and John was in a sling for a week and on light duty at work for a month. Everything is healing great and John seems to be mostly pain free by this point. He still gets some aches ever once in a while, I mean they shaved some of the bone away in the joint. The Dr.s says he should be fully healed on 18-24 months. Already he is feeling much better and is happy to be able to work and play without too much pain!

While John was recovering for surgery I came down with a awful stomach bug. In fact, my stomach first protested in the recovery room after John's surgery. The poor nurse was taking care of me instead of John....I felt awful. I assumed it was my nerves. I was very nervous and anxious for this surgery....I'm not sure why....and didn't eat anything all day. I though now that I knew John was going to be ok, my body decided to show me how unhappy it was with me. 

That was not the case. It started at 5pm at the hospital and ended about 2am at home. I was running the the bathroom every 20-30 minutes. I couldn't even sip water because it would make me run to the bathroom sooner. I felt like I was literally dying. 

Thank goodness for my Mom. Once again she comes to the rescue. She ended up having to take care of John, myself, and Jocelynn. At one point my vomiting was so bad she was ready to put me in the car and take to the ER. Which for her to get to that point, you know things must be pretty bad. 

My biggest concern was making sure John didn't come down with this awful bug. I couldn't imagine vomiting right after shoulder surgery....but he did. Both Mom and John ended up with the bug. Not as bad as what I had, thank goodness, but still miserable none the less. Mom ended up down and out for a few hours on the 9th and John vomited just a couple times on the morning of the 10th. Lets just say that weekend and most of that week was a "trying to get better" for all of us.

It took all of us a good 4-6 day to "get back to normal". All of us lived on scrambled eggs, toast, and roman noodles for most of the week.

By the 11th I was able to get of the couch for more then just bathroom breaks, and the weather was so warm that day. I decided to open the windows and doors and Lysol as much space as I could. I definitely did not want that bug to hang around.

The end of March I was able to spend a bit of time with my nieces and nephew. I love them so much and they bring so much joy to my heart.

One of my favorite pictures of Keira and Gage!

With the nicer weather that March brought, Jocelynn has been spending most of her days (when not in school) outside! She loves to ride her bike and scooter, and jump rope. I also love that she has a few friends who live in the neighborhood and she is able to go from house to house to play or they all come to our house (we have the swing set). I also imagine I will be see most of them a lot during the summer since we are the house with the pool!

Also, with the nicer weather, John has had spring fever. The Fourwheeler seems to be a favorite activity for both John and Jocelynn. I'm glad we have some trails up the road so they can enjoy.

John and Jocelynn enjoying a ride around the yard! Thank goodness all that white stuff in the background is now gone!

Oh, and a proud sister moment, my brother made the front page of the local newspaper. I don't alway brag about either of my brother (I am super proud of both) but Cory being a firefighter scares me everyday, but I am also so very proud of what he does!

Update on 2014 so far....

Here we are in March.....already. I can't believe time flies so quickly.

January and February were filled with Snow, Snow, and more snow.... It is crazy how much it has snowed here.

The tree in the front yard. It is know half way blocked by a snow bank.

I have also spent lots of time with Gage and Keira. Its so nice to have little ones around.

The two munchkins!

I have spent all of this year so far sick. Started at the end of December, which I finally went to the Dr. in January. I had an outer ear infection, two different medications over two weeks cleared that up...or actually moved it to a middle ear infection with bronchitis. So an antibiotic, otc sinus med, and 2 cough meds later it cleared up for about 4 days right around my birthday.

But I was sick again after a few days, went back to the dr. because I still had a horrible cough, a super sore throat, and was super tired. I would sleep 8-10 hours at night and then take a 2-3 hour nap in the middle of the day. She tested me for strep throat and mono...both tests came back negative, it was a virus. I just couldn't catch a break.

Still today, 2 months after the dx of the first ear infection I still have a cough and sore throat. I am waiting for a call from the ENT Dr. My pcp told me my tonsils are huge, and I am afraid I have tonsillitis and will need my tonsils removed. As scared as I am of the pain I would be in from the removal, I can no longer deal with the pain in my throat at this time. At least with the surgery I know the pain will end, right now I don't know if it will ever.

Jocelynn has been doing fantastic in school. She is "extremely bright and a joy to have in class" her teacher says. She is also an exceptional writer. She is writing at a 3rd grade level and is able to add detail and voice when she writes. She seems to enjoy to write and I pray she continues if it makes her happy. I can't believe we are in the last half of 2nd grade for her. I wish she would slow down!

Jocelynn and Spanky

In February I turned 35.....I know some people make a big deal out of this number, but for me it was just another day.

John and I decided this year to purchase one large gift for each other for all the holidays - birthday, mother/father day, anniversary, etc. ~ So john purchased a four wheeler so he can go trail riding with his buddy. He is like a little kid. I am happy to see him so happy and I hope and pray he will get out often because he needs some time with the guys.

John and his four wheeler

I decided my gift would be a girls weekend with my CO sisters. These ladies have been there for me for over 7 years now. I couldn't imagine making it through this infertility battle without them! I can't wait to meet many of them for the first time in June and I know it is going to be a blast that weekend!

The house being rented for Girls Weekend!

John and I also booked our annual Myrtle Beach trip. September never comes fast enough for this trip! I can't wait to spend time with family and friends again and just relax!

Home Sweet Home in Myrtle Beach!

Today John is having surgery on his shoulder. He has arthritis and bone spurs in the joint and a small tear in his rotator cuff. The Dr. is optimistic that they will not need to repair the tear which means John will be in a sling for a week and on light duty at work for a month. Prayers would be greatly appreciated for this!

On the TTC front.....obviously no new baby. John and I have decided to focus on getting healthy. I have started a new exercise challenge/routine with my fantastic CO sisters and I am truly enjoying it!

We have decided that we are content with having only one child. Jocelynn is a miracle and a true blessing. I thank God everyday that she is in my life. Would we like another child, of course, the likely hood of that happening is slim to none. But, God has His plans for my life and I trust those plans are amazing and I am willing to follow this path that He has set out for us.

End of a crazy week

So....we are at the end of a crazy week!

I am feeling better, still on the mend. After 4 days of medication I don't see too much improvement. The ladies at work told me I looked better today, so that is good but yesterday was an very fought day. Yesterday I was in a lot of pain...my eye wouldn't stop weeping and in fact I had to wear the eye patch at work to get anything done, the computer screen hurt to look at.

I am still havering to wear the eye patch at night, it's not as annoying as I thought it was going to be. I am sleeping quiet well with it on, but I can't wait until I don't have to wear it.

My mouth and speech makes me self conscious. I am speaking out of the right side of my mouth, but I will continue to work on improving the muscle function.

Jocelyn. Had her first play date after school with a friend that lives in the block. They seem to have struck up quiet the friendship and are adorable together.

Yesterday was her annual check up. As usual the doctor is concerned with her weight, and after my scare this week, there are a lot of changed being made in the house this weekend. Other then the that the doctor said she is looking great and smart as a whip. She is 52 inches tall ( at 7 years old) and had perfect eyesight (thank goodness she takes after daddy!)

John is still dealing with a bit of pain in his neck/back from the degenerated disks. We are still in conversation mode with the doctor on the best course to help him manage his pain. Our last option is surgery and I don't know what that entails an how much mobility he would have with that route. I think physical therapy and/or a chiropractor is our first step.

Here is praying for a quieter, less stressful an exciting week to come!

ER visit...

So today I took a trip to the ER...Not how I wanted to start the new year off!

I'm ok, scared out of my mind and thankful it wasn't anything too serious...

Monday night (1/7) It started with a teary eye. I would get an intense burning feeling and the my eye would water/cry about every 10-15 minutes. I thought I had something In it irritating it, I would to to bed and wake with a goppy eye, but it would be better.

So I wake up this morning (1/8) and my eye isn't any better, in fact it is worse, it tears/waters continuously.

I get to work, in a meeting and I can tell my mouth on the left side isn't working right....my boss also mentions something doesn't look right. Like I had been to the dentist and had a shot of Novocain. WHAT!!!

I call my dr immediately, she informs me she wants me to be examined at the ER, she believes it is Bells Palsy, but does not want me to drive myself just in case.

My first thought is am I having a stroke? At 33 years old that sounds crazy, but anything is possible.

Sure enough, I was diagnosed with Bells Palsy.

I can't close my left eye fully, and the left side of my mouth won't smile, but it will reverse itself. It may take 4-6 weeks, but I got treatment within 24 hours of the first symptom, so I am hoping that is my favor. So steroids and an antiviral medication as well as an eye ointment and an eye patch for sleeping is my treatment.

I keep thinking how much worse it could be, and I am very blessed that is wasn't something major, but head symptoms suck!!!

So with these medications, TTC is on hold until next month.

My "big" smile....more like a grimace!

The pirate me, wearing the eye patch I have to wear every night until my eye closes on its own.

When it rains it pours.....

I'm not sure were to start. Maybe the happy news first....lol

My beautiful niece, Brook turned 5 on the 22nd. I can't believe it has been 5 years already! Happy Birthday Princess!

Jocelynn has a new friend in the house. Her name is Kelly. Kelly is an Elf on the Shelf. Let's just say, this is one of the best things ever thought up! Basically This Elf (Kelly is ours) watches over Jocelynn and any kids that come to our house, when they go to bed at night she goes to the North Pole and updates Santa on her behavior. By the next morning she is back, but in a different location.

Jocelynn gets excited in the morning, she comes down stairs and immediately looks for Kelly. She also has been on her best behavior for the last week (that is how long we have had it) and she even talks to Kelly. Thank you to Amy and Kristina for telling me about this! You can find them at Hallmark.

Jocelynn is also doing very well staying dry at night. In a week she has (on average) 5 dry nights and 2 wet nights. I pretty excited about that, especially considering we have only been doing this since the beginning of this month. I plan "pushing" a little more after the first of the year!

Now......the other news.

Jocelynn, John and I have all been sick. Some kind of stomach virus/flu thing. It is awful! I stared in Monday with severe stomach cramps, vomiting and diarrhea, which lasted about 36 hours. Even today I am not feeling 100% but better, but I am happy I can finally eat. I went 48 hours with nothing but a little water in my belly.
Jocelynn ended up sick early Thanksgiving morning from 12:30 am until about 6am she was up vomiting every 15 minutes. I thought I was going to have take her to the emergency room, I didn't want her to get dehydrated. At one point I was having her drink juice and ginger ale after she vomited just so that maybe she would absorb some of it and so she would have something in her belly to vomit. The dry heaves were insane. She finally fell asleep about 6:30 and slept until 10:30 and seemed fine. She ate thanksgiving dinner with no issues.
John started last night, vomiting. He feels better today and has been able to eat something but I feel it will be at least another 24 hours before he is truly feeling better.

My Grandfather is also in the hospital. Wednesday he had emergency surgery to remove his Colan, He is "gravely ill" as the Dr. puts it. It will be a long road and as of this morning he was not doing as good as the Dr.'s hoped he would. Please just pray for him.

Also, my crazy brother goes and breaks his collar bone......Thanksgiving day, playing touch football. The ER Dr. told him, "it was the worst break she has ever seen." Go big or go home, right Cory....lol
He will be having surgery to fix this. Praying for a speedy recovery for him!

There is a lot of praying going on in our house. God is listening and will help us through all of this!

Busy Day Tomorrow...

First I get to hear the heart beat of my niece or nephew (due May 8, 2011). I am very excited and thankful that Kristina is so wonderful and including me in these visits! I couldn't ask for a better sister-in-law!

Second I have my Cardiologist Appointment @11 AM. The Dr. will have the results of the TEE I had done last Thursday and I am hoping the Dr. will have a course of treatment ready to discuss. I do know that the TEE confirmed the severity of the Valve problem, and I am prepared for the course of treatment I believe the Dr. will suggest, doesn't make it any less scary in fact it makes it more real coming from him.... I have fantastic support and know that with God, my family and friends I will get through this!

Finally tomorrow evening is something fun! I am 'working' but it is a Black Tie Gala to benefit the animals at Cocheco Valley Humane Society! I have a fantastic outfit to wear and I am looking forward to a wonderful meal, fun times with some of my favorite co-workers and maybe even a little dancing!

My Dress (I don't look as good as her, but I still like it!)

My Shoes to go with the above dress!

I will have to post pictures of me in the outfit. I am surprised I like the dress and shoes as much as I do. They really are not me at all, but they do make me feel pretty!!!!

We are also working with Jocelynn about not peeing to bed. She has been doing pretty well,except for this week. She is fighting of a pretty bad cold (runny/stuffy nose and cough). Hopefully when she is feeling better I can post about happy (dry) news....lol She is averaging about 2 or 3 night a week now, not too bad for working on it for only 3 weeks!

Busy 2 weeks....

Things have been busy. Life just seems to fly by me like I am standing still.....

The 11th and 12th I was very sick. Some kinda flu bug, I was in bed for both days and some of the 13th with severe nausea .I am feeling much better now, and no one else in the house has been sick, John is going to the Dr. today because he has a sore throat....I hope it isn't something else that is going around!

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John went for his post-op appointment on the 17th. The Dr. said he was healing well and that he could resume normal activities as long as he felt comfortable. He did put John on an antibiotic just in case, but he believes the pain and redness around his wound is from the knot on the stitches. Time will tell. It is looking much better, but not sure if that is from the meds or the stitch knot dissolving......

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Today Jocelynn went to the Orthopedic specialist about her feet. He did x-rays again and said that she is improving. She still has some issues, but he still believes that they will 'fix' themselves as she grows and gets stronger. He believe that dance, tap and ballet, or karate will help with her strength, so we will be checking on signing her up for one of those. She has been asking about dance class so we will probably try that first.

The Dr. also said that she is advanced in her motor skills for a 4 year old and very strong. She comprehended instructions, ie: stand on your heals, better then most 4 year olds. I was impressed with how quickly she followed his instruction when asked to push her feet, legs and knees different ways. I was a very proud Mommy.....lol

We will go back to see him in a year just to make sure things aren't worse. Over all he felt pretty good with her progress in the last 2 years and the improvement that has been made and the changes shown in her x-rays. We should start to see an improvement in her 'gracefulness' over the next 2 years. We can only hope....lol

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On to TTC news.....we are again onto the next cycle. Not surprising since John's surgery was at the important part of my cycle. Knowing it wouldn't happen this month didn't make the disappointment any easier, but I have handled it well. This is the first month I have not cried.  Cycle 42 here we come.....lol

John and I have decided that we will try without medical intervention until our cycle that starts in June. Then we will do 1-2 months of observation with the Dr., but no meds. Then we will start the Clomid again. John has a s/a scheduled for Sept., 6 months after surgery, and that will give us an idea if the surgery worked. So once again it is all about waiting......I think that is the most frustrating thing about all of this....we seem to always be waiting!

Still sick!

I will be calling the Dr. in the morning. I still have a very persistent cough and it has become very annoying. I have been on antibiotics for the last 2 weeks and I am tired of it! Not sure what else she may do, but we will find out tomorrow.

Jocelynn has also come down with a cough! So looks like I will be making an appointment for her at the Dr. as well tomorrow! I am hoping it is just a little chest cold and not pneumonia!

The other thing that really stinks about this month, is because I have been sick and on a class C antibiotic, we have had to put TTC on hold this month. Not like I have been really feeling in the mood anyways! Even though I know it is highly unlikely (not completely since we did have 1 or 2 instances when I was feeling better...lol) I still have small hope. Especially since there have been 2 nights, thurs. and sat., when I vomited. I keep telling my self it is from the mucus in my chest breaking up, but there is still a part of me that is hopefully it may be a good sign.....stupid me!

Only time will tell, AF is due on 9/6 so we will see! I really hope she makes an appearance since I will be extra worried with having taken the antibiotic, but I am leaving it is God's hands!

Busy, Busy, Busy

I can't believe how much time has gone by! We have been busy and I have been sick.

First of All, 8/8/09 we went the NE Dragway to see the Jet Cars under the stars! It was GREAT! Jocelynn loved it! She now want to drive a jet car.....I DON'T think so!

The Big Boy!

Waiting for the races to start!
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We have been spending allot of time in the pool. It has been nice and hot here!

Jocelynn Swimming like a big girl!

Jocelynn and Brooke 'relaxing' in the pool!
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I have been very sick. Fighting Pneumonia! I couldn't believe that I came down with a winter ailment in the middle of summer. I had been fighting a cough since 7/23/09 and was too stubborn to go the Dr. Finally on 8/14/09 I went and sure enough.....pneumonia! I am now nearing the end of my second antibiotic and I still have a small cough. Looks like I may be heading back to the Dr. in a few days if the cough doesn't give it a rest!

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY WONDERFUL HUSBAND! I took the day off from work (8/19/09). We went to the movies, saw Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince, very good but much darker the the previous. Then I took him out to dinner at our favorite restaurant, Texas Roadhouse....and then we did a little shopping! I was still not feeling well, but pushed myself for his sake. It was worth it, he said he had a great day! He also had 2 other 'parties'. One on the 18th with the Alexanders and one on the 22nd with my brothers and parents! He may be a little spoiled but he deserves it!

So as you can see, life has been busy and interesting! There is still more I want to post about....but there is always another day! Hopefully I will be able to get back to posting regularly, I am currently training a new girl at work, and I am hopeful that my hours will be decreasing to 2 days a week (Monday and Friday) in the next couple of weeks! Keep your fingers crossed for me!

Dr. Appointment

Went to the Dr. today for my back. He said it is muscular and tried to blame it on my weight. HELLO.....I have not gained any weight and this all of a sudden happened....I highly doubt it is due from my weight. My weight may be an issue on why it is taking so long to get better. So he gave me Tylenol with Codeine to take at night, because I can't take much else because I have the kids all day.

He also gave me a stronger heartburn med (again he tried to blame it's being worse with my weight.....again I haven't gained any weight).

I have hardly a voice today. I have been suffering with chest congestion all weekend, and this morning I woke up with the voice thing. Dr. Says that is a cold and will run it's course....wasn't really going to see him for anything but my back, but since I was there....lol

Also I have a referral to get the ingrown toe nails taken care of. They have been bothering me for months!!!

He believe I may suffer from sleep apnea......maybe I caught it from John....LMAO! So looks like I will be doing a sleep study soon.

Last but not least for me, he informed me that I qualify for a weight loss surgery. Not sure how I feel about this. It's kinda like being stuck between a rock and a hard place. If I go with the surgery, I have to put TTC on hold but, the weight loss could increase our chances of conceiving. What to do, what to do!?!?!? I have an appointment with my RE tomorrow, I am going to discuss this with her and find out the specifics on the impact it will have on TTC.....exactly how long we would have to put it on hold! I will also do allot of praying on this subject.......

John received some results from his blood work and x-rays. His foot looks fine on his x-rays.....so now were do we go? It is still bothering him!

His thyroid results came back fine....no issue there. We are still waiting on the testosterone results. I'm glad there is no issue so far, but with no issue comes no treatment and that sucks!

I guess it is all a waiting game. Waiting to hear from the neurologist to schedule an appointment for John's sleep study and waiting for a call from the foot Dr. so I can take care of the pains in my toes........my life seems to be all about waiting and my patience are drying up fast!

Update on John

John went back to the Dr. yesterday. He has been out of work again (2 days) with severe sinus pressure. Sure enough he has polyps. A mass of them which is not allowing his sinuses to drain. Once again he is on Prednizone to help with them and will be starting allergy shots to help keep them at bay. He was also placed on a nasal spray, but the stupid pharmacy wouldn't fill it. The Dr. gave the dosage at 2x the normal level because of his polyps. The prescription was hand written by the Dr. WTF. So of course by the time we get to the pharmacy and they actually look at the prescription, the Dr. office is closed so they can't call to confirm. gaah.... So this morning John called the Dr. office and told them what was going on, 1 hour later he called the Pharmacy and still nothing. I will give them until noon and then I am going to start ripping some heads off! We are in the process of changing pharmacies because lately we have had nothing but issues with this one!

His thyroid testing came back with a few off levels but not enough for the Dr. to do anything right now, John will be tested again in 2 months to recheck the levels.

Other then that, Jocelynn and I are feeling much better. Still not 100%, but getting there.

Updates ~ about everything!

My Grandfather ~ SO today was the day we got the results from my grandfathers bloodwork! No leukemia or blood disease. In fact the Dr. doesn't know why his white count is elevated. So he is going to monitor it. Then in the next breath, he says his COPD (which he has had for years from smoking) could cause his count to be elevated. WTF! Some Dr.'s need a swift kick in the arse!

Jocelynn ~ She has been doing great! We still have our attitude moments, but for the most part we are very much better behaved! She is listening and playing better with Brooke and Wyatt. I just hope and pray that this continues, but in reality I am waiting for the other shoe to drop and her behavior to change and the testing to begin again!

TTC ~ So here I am today on CD 19 ~ 8 DPO. I am having severely soar BB's and I am hoping this is a great sign! My EDD would be October 8, 2009. My family might have an issue with this (yet another October Baby) but I could care less! The background behind an October baby is my Mother has 5 sisters and 4 of them were born in October along with my grandfather and MANY cousins. But I don;t care. What will frustrate me is hearing "another October Baby." I guess I will just have to deal with it. I am just praying and hoping that this is our month and this ordeal we started in December of 2006 is over.....until the next one....LOL
Of course I won't find out until the end of the month! I could test as early as Friday (1/23) but since I have never had a positive HPT (even when I was 4.5 month pregnant). SO my plan is to wait until the 2nd of February and if AF hasn't showed then I will call the Dr. to get a blood test! But, really, who am I kidding, I will pee on a stick in the hopes that for once I will see those 2 lovely pink lines....LOL


So all in all, things have been pretty boring. That is ok I will take the plain and boring!

3 Months!!!

WTF! John has yet another sinus infection. If you haven't read my post back in October, yes October (3 months ago) please read that first by clicking here!)

So he had yet another appointment with Dr. Bitch (under protest from me) and sure enough he is on Pretnizon again,(his polyps are back) with an antibiotic and another appointment set for 2/2/09. This time I was unable to go, and I wish I wish I had. You know how guys are, they never ask the right questions. Being a mother and a woman who is in the Dr. office 4-8 times a month, I have learned to speak up!

I don't know what happens if this course of treatments doesn't work. I don't think it is healthy for John to be on Steroids every 3 months. His frequent sinus infections are really no better then before we spend $50,000 in surgeries (OK, so the insurance company did, but we still had 3 weeks of lost wages)

He did tell me that if he lost weight it would help the situation....WTF is that EVERY Dr. excuse when they have messed up? So John told her he was working on that and he doesn't even east 2000 calories in a day and has an active job (electrician). So she said considering that she wants to do Thyroid testing. This makes since because 2 of his sisters have thyroid issues (one is over active and the other is under active) this could explain somethings. So we should have result at his next appointment, which I will be going to!!!

John doesn't understand my dislike of her. HELLO!!! We spent all that time, energy and money to make him feel better, and we are in no way better then before the surgeries....... So why did we bother? She probably has a child in college and needed the tuition money! Man I sound bitter, but I am tired of John feeling like crap and I worry at any moment he could have a major asthma attack and I could loose him! All I want is to have my husband healthy! I will do anything to make that happen, even if it mean continuing to see the Dr. from HELL!!!!!

Stupid Dr.'s!!

My grandfather had a Dr. appointment, what we thought was to discuss his course of treatment....WRONG. They are not even positive he has leukemia. WTF..... They have to do the biopsy today and the results will take 10-14 days. All they could tell him is that he does have an autoimmune/blood issue which is most likely Leukemia! GAAH

I know I should look at this as good news, especially since it isn't necessarily leukemia, but why get us all worked up like that. I know, Dr.'s have to give us the worse case scenario.

The thing that makes this hard is we are getting the updates from my Aunt. My grandfather can not speak and I'm not sure how much he comprehends. He had a stroke years (over 10) ago and has been paralyzed on his right side ever since. His speech and memory are also effected. My Aunt received the phone call on Christmas Eve (very rude in my thoughts) with the possibility of Leukemia. She was very upset and, just like I would be, concentrated on the worse case scenario and that is what she relayed to us.

Luckily my Mother went to the appointment yesterday, and although it is her father, she can stay much calmer and have a clearer head then her sisters!

Please keep him in your prayers and I will know more in about 2 weeks!


HAPPY BIRTHDAY JD!!!!!!

Dr.'s!!!

First off let me say AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Ok I feel better. John has been having issues with his sinuses all his life, well Last year he started seeing a Ear, Nose and Throat specialist.....if you can call her that.

John's first surgery was Nov. of 2007. He was out of work for 2 weeks and we though, yay, no more issues. Man were we wrong!

John's second surgery (for the same issue) was in Feb. of 2008. We thought, ok there could be no more issues right....WRONG!!!!

John is back to see this specialist (under protest from me, he thinks she is a great Dr.) this month!!!!!

REWIND>>>>>

John started seeing Dr. S. after he had a sinus infection that wouldn't go away after several week (with antibiotics). She decided surgery was the best course because his actual sinus passage was blocked and needed to be cleared. No problem, we were ok with that. The day of the surgery comes and John is wheeled into surgery and about 3 hours later, I am told she is done and he is in recovery. Great! Well, not so much. She couldn't finish the surgery because he started bleeding too much. Ok, obviously, there is an issue with bleeding and we will have that checked out.

The first week post surgery was ok, he was healing and not in too much pain. Well, that Saturday, all hell broke loose. We ended up in the ER twice withing a 12 hour period, because he began bleeding from his nose. The first visit to the ER they placed packing in his nose. ewwww. and the second time we ended up in the ER was because it was bleeding through the packing. The ER was so busy that he basically laid on a cot in the room and the bleeding stopped on his own...WTF, I'm glad he wasn't DYING!!!!!!

We had John's bleeding time tested and her was fine, in fact he clotted so well, that I am now thinking he may have a clotting problem...lol. What does this mean? The Fing Dr. was in a hurry with his first surgery and nicked something that got him bleeding....grrrrrr

OK, so the second surgery I was super nervous. I didn't really want to go through what I had been through with the first surgery, but it needed to be finished. He was in the operation room for 1.5 hours....ARE YOU Serious. You can't tell me she finished what she had to do??? Whatever, I really don't like her and I or my daughter will NEVER be going to her!!!!!

Post surgery was much better this time then last time. He was only out of work for a week and we had no nose bleed issues!

So here we are present day, still dealing with this bitch of a Dr. WTF. John likes her and thinks she is a great Dr. whatever!

So now John has been dealing with breathing issues and a sinus infection. So he goes for him 6 month check-up, perfect timing if you ask me, and she puts him in a Pretnizon (John is not very nice on this and she knows it, you can't tell me there isn't another steroid she can put him on. She knows he is nasty on pretnizon and I think she does it to spite me..LOL) Why the steroids? He now has polyps in his nose. WHAT? WHY? Because he has sinus surgery! WTF, why wasn't that a warning before we went ahead with the surgery?

So needless to say, I am not happy with my husbands choice in Dr.'s!!!

Waiting......

So here I am in a crazy waiting period......I went this morning for a BETA. I am going on 3 days 'over due'. Which to most people isn't a lot, but I am one of the lucky who have a regular, almost to the hour, cycle. Having PCOS, this is one thing I treasure! So being 3 days 'overdue' is a HUGH thing. I have POAS twice and both time BFN.....but, I was 4.5 months pregnant with my DD and POAS and even that was negative! I think I am one of the rare few who don't secrete HCG in my urine....*gaah* of course I wouldn't!! So tomorrow I will know for sure one way or another!!!

With all this going on I have realized why I was 'blessed' with infertility, if I could look at John and get pregnant I wouldn't know until I was in labor because I can't poas.....LMAO!!!!

I have decided that I need...lol...to work on a home beta test....lol. Kinda like the diabetic testing machines, but it will test for hcg. I truely wonder how hard that would be....LOL

On the other hand, John hoch his breathe because of the gunk in his chest. He does bring some of it up, but not enough to stay ahead. He has been on antibiotics for 2 weeks now! So I called the Dr. for him and he will be going back to be checked out today. I know he is feeling like shit when he wakes up and asked "how early does the office open?"

Please pray for us! I hope this ttc journey will finally have the outcome I wanted and that John finally starts feeling better!!!

Life.....

Life has a funny way of happening all around you.

John is still sick, and I am seriously starting to worry. I will give the antibiotics until Thursday to start working or I call the Dr. again. It has moved from his nose to his chest and I'm not playing around with that shit.

Other then life we have just been going day to day. I'm trying not to freak out since I only have 4 more days until testing!!!!! I kinda know in the back of my mind and in my heart that it will be a BFN. I have NO symptoms....not even the fake ones that my body likes to trick me with. But, never the less, I need to POAS just to make sure!!!!!

Jocelynn has been so busy lately. My Mom taught her the Hokey Pokey, so she has been running around singing that all week. Also just dancing up a storm. She can't hear music without wiggling her little bottom. It is the cutest thing. Every day she amazes me with something she does or says. She really is turning into an adorable little girl with a personality most would die for....LOL (but I may be a bit partial....lol) He latest is saying WOOHOO after something that she is interested in doing. For instant at dinner I will say "dinner's ready." and she will Woohoo all the way to the table....LOL Also I have started having to give her choices on items. Such as what to wear, drink, or eat for lunch. If I say "Jocelynn come here so we can get dressed". She will look at the outfit and say "Mommy, I don't love it!" WHAT? *shock* But if she is given the choice between 2 outfits she is happy. Also I have started letting her choose her own hair piece. It makes brushing and fixing her hair much easier.

I am having a hard time letting her make some of these choices. I don't want to admit that she is growing up and able to make these choices on her own. I don't want to let my baby go...LOL....I know I am crazy. At the same time she is so much fun and bring so much joy to my life! I sometimes sit at night, watching her, and wonder what we ever did for 'entertainment' before she was born...LOL Now if only we could be blessed with another child!

And then I feel guilty for being so upset that I am having trouble with #2. So many of my wonderful girlfriends are struggling with #1. I would give up my chance of #2 for them to be able to have their first. They all deserve it soooooo much and I know that all of them will be blessed at some point and will be WONDERFUL mothers! They have been there for me in more ways then they will ever know and I don't know were i would be without them! Love you Ladies!!!!!!!!

Please Pray for my Family....

Aunt Kathy isn't doing well and the Dr. don't expect her to make in through the next 24 hours. I am extremly sad about this but also pray she goes quickly as she has been suffering many years with Mouth, Lung and Bone cancer. and recently a brain tumor and a stroke, that has left bleeding and swelling of her brain.
So please pray for my family during this hard time, in particular my Mother, and Aunt Kathy's daughter and grandchildren. This will be the first death in my family in 13 years and my mothers first and oldest sister.

Dear Lord, please give my family stength and stop Aunt Kathy's suffering.