Monday, July 28, 2008


So I finally did it. We have an appointment with the acupuncturist for a consultation on Tuesday 8/5/2008. I am excited and nervous at the same time! I am at the point were traditional medicine is not working for me......I will and need to try something else, ANYTHING else!

John will be going with me which is a hugh step for him. He is severely afraid of the point of passing out when he has to have blood work done....poor guy. The other night when we were discussing acupuncture, he said if it would help, he would do it as well.... *shocked*

I love my husband more and more every day For the first time in the last 20 months, I felt like he was going through all of this with me and wants another child jut as much as I do!

Saturday, July 26, 2008

A Fantastic Day!!!! today started off late! Jocelynn, John and I slept until 8:30 am *shock*. It was nice and strange all at the same time...LOL

So once we were up and had eaten breakfast we decided that we were going to do something as a family....what better family activity then Mini Golf!!!! This was Jocey's first time and she was GREAT!!! The first half of the course she was excited about everything that was going on, from learning how to play, the different holes, and especially the waterfall and big 'pond' in the middle of the course. After that became old news, she really focused on playing (as much as a 2 1/2 year old can) and did a great job and had holding the golf club and hitting the ball down pat (maybe the next Tiger Woods....LOL).

So after out 18 holes, we went inside and they have a smallish arcade. Man did she have fun there, from skee ball to the coin drop games, she was so cute. Skee ball was her favorite and man, when she put her mind to it those balls would fly....literly....into the next lane...LOL...oops!

She managed to get 515 tickets to 'buy' something at the toy counter. She decided on a stuffed soccer ball (it has the bean bag fluffs in it) and a stuffed pig....LOL She loves her stuffed animals and objects.....Like mother like daughter!

We get home and Dad shows up, him and my Mom want to take Jocelynn and Brooke to the Stratham Fair. No problem with me. They never get home until 9:45PM....and Jocelynn was still going and telling me all about the rides and food and her ducky 'tattoo'. (A painted picture of a duck on her arm....LOL). She was so cute and had such a fun day....She is now sleeping...she crashed hard once she was laying in bed...poor baby girl!

While Jocelynn was with my Mom and Dad, John and I decide that it is the perfect chance for us to have some much needed couple time! We went to dinner at one of our favorite restaurants.....Texas Roadhouse....YUMMY!!!!! Then we went to the Bookstore, Petco and A.C. Moore...LOL...what an exciting date...LOL! But at least we were together!!!! Time for bed soon and I think I will be sleeping good tonight!

Saturday, July 19, 2008


SO.....My plan in my previous post has gone down the drain!!! I went for an u/s and sure enough There is a Cyst.....

So this cycle is a bust already!!! I actually am wondering now if I even ovulated last cycle since it is the same side and same size as the follie I had mid cycle........Mother Nature is a cruel BITCH!

Depending on when I start the next cycle, I may have to sit that one out as well. We are planning a trip to the in-laws from Thursday 8/14 thru Monday 8/18 and if I go my usual 28 days, CD1 should be Tuesday 8/12. But if she decides to be a royal bitch and show late, I won't be around for the u/s to see if this cyst is gone, and with no u/s I can't take meds......

So I am praying that the witch shows on time or even early would be great!!!!

And to top everything off, when i showed up at the RE office today, there is a woman who I went to school. Usually not a problem , except this woman drives me insane.....Hello, WTF are you doing? Jane is my Dr......Couldn't she have found another Dr...... GAAH I'm just being Bitchy!!!!!!

Thursday, July 17, 2008

TTC plans for the next 7 cycles.....

OK, so as if yesterday wasn't bad enough, AF decided to be a royal bitch and show up in the middle of everything! So when I got home, I called the RE. We need to do a Clomid Challenge to find out if I have DOR. So Friday (7/18/08) I will go in for CD3 bloodwork (FSH, LH and E2), take 100 mg of clomid from CD5-9 (Sunday 7/20-7/24), CD10 bloodwork (FSH, LH and E2) on 7/25 and an u/s to check follie growth on Saturday 7/26.

Either way, John and I decided that I need a break, so the following 6 cycles we will not be preventing, but I will also not be temping, taking meds, going to the RE every week or POAS. If it happens then WONDERFUL, but I need to take a step back from it. TTCing has completely taken over my life and I feel sometimes that I have neglected Jocelynn. I need to realize and appreciate her and come to terms that she may be my only child! I truely am putting it in Gods hands and I hope he has it in his plans to bless us with another child or two, but if that is not the case I nees to understand that he does everything for a reason.

I will update when I get my bloodwork and all done!

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

A sad day...

So today was a really rough day for me. Today was Aunt Kathy's funeral (10/14/1949 ~ 7/13/2008). Although the service was beautiful and I learned things about my Aunt that I didn't know, i already miss her! I am extremely sad that Jocelynn will not know this lovely woman who loved every one of her family members with her whole heart. I LOVE YOU! I know that she is up in heaven with my grandmother and I now feel like I have 2 guardian Angels!

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

On to another cycle...

So my Beta yesterday was a BFN...... I was really hoping this cycle was it, but once again i am just a HUGH disappointment!

So, next cycle is the Clomid challange so my RE can check my levels and find out if I am in fact in DOR.

John and I discussed things last night, If I do not have DOR, then we are going to take a TTC break for the next six months, not preventing, but no temping, OPK's, dr. appointments and meds. I just feel like I need this.

If I do have DOR, then we are going to have to save up for IVF or adoption......we haven't done much research, but we will be for we make a choice.

Pray for us, I really have no strength for any of this any more. I am not putting my full attention on Jocelynn, and I thank God everyday for her!

Sunday, July 13, 2008

R.I.P Aunt Kathy...

So we received the call this morning about 1:30am that Aunt Kathy had passed away. We are all sad and relieved at the same time. I know that sounds horrible, but with all she has been suffering with, (see my previous post) at last now she is at peace and in Heaven with my Grandmother.

Friday, July 11, 2008

Please Pray for my Family....

Aunt Kathy isn't doing well and the Dr. don't expect her to make in through the next 24 hours. I am extremly sad about this but also pray she goes quickly as she has been suffering many years with Mouth, Lung and Bone cancer. and recently a brain tumor and a stroke, that has left bleeding and swelling of her brain.
So please pray for my family during this hard time, in particular my Mother, and Aunt Kathy's daughter and grandchildren. This will be the first death in my family in 13 years and my mothers first and oldest sister.

Dear Lord, please give my family stength and stop Aunt Kathy's suffering.

My poor Baby!!!!

So Jocelynn was stung by 2 wasps today. She was visiting her Auntie Robin and found a wasps nest that Robin didn't know they had.

She has this very cute water can laen decoration. Jocelynn thought it would be cute to go over and drop her baby doll in the watering can.....usually wouldn't have been a problem, except Uncle Tony had placed an empty Dr. Pepper can in the watering can. So when Jocelynn leaned over to look in and get her baby doll out........bam, she gets stung.

Man did she cry, Robin and Tony live two houses down the street from us and I was headed down to say goodnight (she is spending the night there because John and I have to get up early to help CVHS with their annual craft fair!) and I heard her crying. I wasn't alarmed because she is a klutz and is always falling.....well, as I got closer I realized this is something different. MY POOR BABY!!!!! Luckily Robin is an RN so she put mud on it right away. I was worried since Jocelynn has never been stung by ANYTHING! So we watched her and she is fine, just a little red and tender.

Here is the sad thing, she kept whimpering and crying, so I tried to console her only to find out she was upset that her baby doll was still in the watering can......huh? So Daddy and Grampa tackled the can and the wasps to get Jocelynn's baby doll. Once she had this in her arms she stopped crying and was OK. I tried to tell her we would buy her a new baby doll, but she wanted that one of course.....

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Jocelynn's OK

So....I brought Jocelynn to the Dr,. yesterday afternoon because she has been running a temp since Sunday evening and Tuesday my Mom noticed red/white spots in her mouth and red spots on he cheek and chin.

So the Dr. said it was a Virus and that there wasn't much to do but let it run it's course....GAAH....So right now I am giving her Tylenol every four hours for the fever and the mouth pain. He said that if she gets worse or hasn't gotten better by the beginning of next week to call the office again.....The great thing is he goes on vacation on Friday....WTF....Thankfully I completely trust his associate....she is actually great, and John and I have seen her on occasion and I have complete trust in her as well!!!!!

So this morning I did notice two more spots on Jocelynn's cheek and chin. The Dr. said those spots looked like bug bites....which I agree, but what about the two new ones? She wasn't outside last night (other the running to Wal-mart). So I will continue to keep an eye on those and if ANY more show up I will be calling the Dr. again......

She does seem to be in better mood today and she actually got down off the couch to play with her toys (which she hasn't done all week) so I guess that is a step in the right direction!!!!

On a side not, the Dr. walked into the exam room, and this is what was said between Jocelynn and the I have a drama queen on m hands.....LMAO

Jocelynn: "Hi, I sick."
Dr.: "I know what is wrong?"
Jocelynn: "I sick."
Dr.: "what hurts?"
Jocelynn: "You make my mouth feel better?"

OMG!!!!! My 2 year old is brilliant......ok so I would think but I was amazed!!!!!! Even last night and today, she would do something she wasn't supposed to and we would get mad and she gives you that sad puppy face and would say "I sick." Ma she s already learning to play people....I am in sooooooo much trouble!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

What else.....please let me know!

So this evening my Mom noticed that Jocelynn has some white spots in her mouth and a spot on her chin (her chin looks like a pimple). So off to the Dr. tomorrow to have it looked at. Should have known better! I jinxed myself, last week I said to John that it had been 6 months since she had been to the PCP. I am just hoping that they can see her tomorrow.

Between the spots and the fever, I'm not sure what is going on! *sigh*

Something for me to do....

So this was 'stolen from Colleen, Rubiya and Mindy! Thanks ladies!!!

Change all the answers so they apply to you, then tag or link to your friends so they do they same. The theory is that you’ll learn a lot of silly little factoids about your blogging buddies, including things you may never have known. Ready! Set! Go!
1. What time did you get up this morning? 8:00 am
2. Do you prefer diamonds or pearls? Diamonds
3. What was the last movie you saw in a cinema? Chronicles of Narnis: Pronce Caspian
4. What is your favorite TV show? Bones, House, Project Runway and What not to Wear
5. What do you usually eat for breakfast? Yogurt or cereal
6. What’s your middle name? Anne
7. What food do you dislike? Olives, Feta, Ricotta and Scrapple
8. What’s your favorite CD at the moment? Not my favorite, but the one I listen to the most is a children's song CD....LOL
9. What kind of car do you drive? 2004 GMC Envoy!!!! Also I have a 2001 Ford Escape!!!
10. What’s your favorite sandwich? Ham and Cheese or BLT
11. What characteristic do you despise? Liars and dishonest people
12. What’s your favorite item of clothing? My Smock style tops I bought this year at fashion bug!!!
13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Myrtle Beach, SC or Ireland
14. Are you an organized person? For the most part I bedroom is another story....LOL
15. Where do you want to retire to? Anywhere with my family.......Myrtle Beach hopefully!
16. What was your most recent memorable birthday? 2006......My first birthday being a MOM!!! and This past year.......My husband gave me a laptop!!!!!
17. What are you going to do when you finish this? I should be cleaning the house
18. Furthest place you are sending this? Into the unknown....LOL
19. Person you expect to fill it out first? Not sure
20. What’s on your bathroom counter? Toothbrushes, hair brush, Jocelynn's hair ties and my curling iron.
21. Are you a morning person or a night owl? Depends.....I can be either!
22. What’s your shoe size? 9
23. Any pets? 1 cat and 1 bird......and a dog that thinks he belongs to me but he is really my mom's
24. Any new & exciting news you’d like to share? I test in 7 days (7/14/08)
25. What did you want to be when you were little? a Marine Biologist or Vet.
26. How are you today? OK. Tired and is hoping Jocelynn's fever goes away
27. What’s your favorite flower? Stargazer Lily
28. What’s the next date you’re looking forward to? July 14th
29. What are you listening to right now? Jocelynn singing herself to sleep and the TV....WHat Not to Wear!
30. What’s the last thing you ate? A Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich....LOL
31. Do you wish on stars? Sometimes
32. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Yellow
33. How is the weather right now? Hot and Humid!!!!!
34. Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? My husband
35. Favorite soft drink? Iced Tea
36. Favorite restaurant? Texas Roadhouse
37. Hair color. Strawberry Blonde
38. What was your favorite toy as a child? Wuzzles
39. Summer or winter? Summer
40. Do you like your hair? Yes
41. Chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate
42. Coffee or tea? Tea
43. Do you prefer your friends e-mail or call you? E-mail...I hate talking on the phone
44. When was the last time you cried? Last Monday....I got some semi-bad news at the Dr.
45. What’s under your bed? The headboard and an overnight bag
46. What did you do last night? cuddled with Jocelynn went to bed early
47. What are you afraid of? Something happening to Hubby and Jocelynn and never being able to have anymore kids.
48. Salty or sweet? Both!!!!!!
49. How many keys are on your key ring? 4....2 vehicle keys and 2 house keys
50. How long have you been at your current job? Well, since June 1....LOL I just became a SAHM.....before that I was at the local Humane Society for 4 years
51. Favorite day of the week? Saturday and Sundays
52. Do you make friends easily? Sometimes
53. How many brothers & sisters do you have? I have 2 younger brothers
54. Are your parents still married? Nope
55. Do you like finding little details about your friends? Yes!

Wow.....what a week! for starters, I had bloodwork done yesterday to check my P4 levels ~ 17.21...which the RE says is great....basically means I ovulated.....I have been so nauseous and my breast have been super sore......not trying to read to much into it!

Of course I have been super busy with the 4th of July and Jocelynn has been sick for the last 3 days, so my mind has been on other things!

Jocelynn started late Sunday afternoon feeling super warm.....we had gone to my sister-in-laws (sil) for a cook out and she was out of it. She hadn't had a nap that day so I thought she was just tired....I feel like such a horrible mother!

Finally on the way home....she just looked horrible.....I took her temp when we got home and sure enought 100.1.....which isn't a hugh fever but for this child it is high because she runs in the 97.5 range. So we started with the Tylenol. She had me up pretty much all night. I think we got a total of 3 hours sleep....which was broken up, in 20-30 minute intervals

Monday, she seemed better, still just laying around but eatting and drinking fine....or so I thought. Lunch was another story. Chicken Noodle Soup made her vomit. WTH!! She was better Monday night but you see in her eyes that she still wasn't herself. I took her temp through Monday an it stayed between 99.3 and 100.1. So more Tylenol it is. She slept much better and only had me up twice....we both needed the much needed rest!

So this morning she seems to be more herself.....still relaxing and laying on the couch more then usual and still running a temp of 99.7........If by tomorrow morning her temp isn't gone I will call the Dr.

At first I thought all this was her 2-year-molers....but the vomiting threw me off. Then I thought well maybe she has an ear infection from swimming in the pool and getting water in her ears....but no complaints of her ears hurting......So my conclusion is it is a bug.....might explain my nausea....although I am truely hoping mine is morning sickness.......even thought I know in the back of my mind it is to early!

Please pray that Jocelynn gets better and the rest of my weeks stays uneventful.

On a side not it is hotter then Hell today....I may attempt to take Jocelynn in the pool...maybe that will help cool her off and take care of her temp. (oh, and next Monday is my BETA....please let this be the month!!!!)

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