Thursday, December 23, 2010

Merry 2 days before Christmas!

Everything has been crazy and busy....tis the season. John, Jocelynn and I are still fighting some kinda bug since Thanksgiving. It started as the stomach flu, then became a head cold and is now chest congestion.....I am hoping and praying it will be on it's way out of the house next!

Jocelynn has been making great progress with waking up dry! Only 6 accidents all month! I will be pushing for no accidents for the entire month of January (and beyond)!

I have my appointment on the 13th of January @2pm with the OB/GYN at Bringham and Women's Hospital. This is an initial consultation and I am hoping to schedule my exercise/stress test for the same day. I should know either that day or soon after whether we have the green light to TTC again! I have faith that we will receive good news!

Cory and Kristina found out that they are having a BOY!!!! I get a nephew!!!! I am so excited and happy for them! The end of April, beginning of May can NOT come soon enough!!!

Jocelynn is on Christmas break until January 3rd. When she goes back to school she will be going 5 days a week instead of the 4 days. She seems excited and I hope the extra day will help in preparing her for kindergarten!

With Jocelynn's new schedule I will also be working a new schedule. I am looking for full-time work again, I have told my boss, and hopefully it will happen. If it doesn;t I will be working m-f 9am - 2pm. I will not know until sometime in January if the full-time has been approved.

Things are coming together for Christmas and I have 4 1/2 days off to spend with John, Jocelynn and the rest of my family! It will be a much needed break and hopefully I can finally get back on the mend and get rid of this sickness!

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR to ALL my Friends and Family!!!

Sunday, December 12, 2010

My Miracle!

Happy Birthday to my beautiful daughter Jocelynn Noelle! You came into our life 5 years ago and I have never been the same! I love you more than words can express and you mean so much to me. I love you!!!!

p.s. Can you please stop growing so fast?

Friday, December 10, 2010

Good News and Bad....

Happy Birthday Dad and Robin!!!!

My appointments on Wednesday couldn't have gone better! I don't need surgery and in fact they don't believe the valve is as bad as originally thought by the Dr.'s here. They have ordered a stress test for me to do after the first of the year. It will determine how my body is processing and getting rid of CO2. I will also be meeting with a OB/GYN who specializes in women and particularly pregnant women with heart issues. If everything goes well, I will be given the green light to TTC again!

When (I'm being very positive) I get pregnant they will monitor me closely and I will receive an Echo-cardiogram every trimester. Worse case, if I have issues during pregnancy they will do a catherization, send a balloon up and open up the valve. They don't want to do this unless needed because right now the leakage back through the valve is minimal, and they find after the balloon the leaking gets worse. They also don't want to replace the valve at this point because they don't last forever and I would end up having the valve replace every 10 years.

So as of right now we are waiting to get the green light after the first of the year!

Bad News: Grandpa was doing good, and then he took a turn for the worse. On December 7th at 9:05 pm surrounded by his family, grandpa passed. I will go into further detail in another post. Right now I am in shock and dealing.....

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Happy December!!!!!!

Grandpa is doing very well. He is off the ventilator, awake, alert and making progress. It is nice to go in to see him and he can communicate! He is still in CCU (Critical Care Unit) and I am not sure how long that will be. Praying that he keeps making progress!

Cory had surgery to repair his collar bone last Tuesday. Only time will tell how it heals, praying that he has no lasting effects from this injury.

Jocelynn has had a little set back with wetting the bed. So far this month she has had 2 dry nights and 3 wet nights. I'm not sure what is going on, but We will keep working with her! (November was a good month for her, she had 19 dry nights and only 7 wet nights, we started on the 5th)

We celebrated Jocelynn's birthday yesterday! It was great and I don't think we have ever had so many people in the house. It was great seeing all the kids in their cowboy hats and bandannas!

Today we are getting our Christmas tree and decorating the house. Jocelynn has been asking to do this for a couple days. She keeps asking if it is time yet? She is so much fun this year. She gets excited about everything!

Saturday, November 27, 2010

When it rains it pours.....

I'm not sure were to start. Maybe the happy news first....lol

My beautiful niece, Brook turned 5 on the 22nd. I can't believe it has been 5 years already! Happy Birthday Princess!

Jocelynn has a new friend in the house. Her name is Kelly. Kelly is an Elf on the Shelf. Let's just say, this is one of the best things ever thought up! Basically This Elf (Kelly is ours) watches over Jocelynn and any kids that come to our house, when they go to bed at night she goes to the North Pole and updates Santa on her behavior. By the next morning she is back, but in a different location.

Jocelynn gets excited in the morning, she comes down stairs and immediately looks for Kelly. She also has been on her best behavior for the last week (that is how long we have had it) and she even talks to Kelly. Thank you to Amy and Kristina for telling me about this! You can find them at Hallmark.

Jocelynn is also doing very well staying dry at night. In a week she has (on average) 5 dry nights and 2 wet nights. I pretty excited about that, especially considering we have only been doing this since the beginning of this month. I plan "pushing" a little more after the first of the year!

Now......the other news.

Jocelynn, John and I have all been sick. Some kind of stomach virus/flu thing. It is awful! I stared in Monday with severe stomach cramps, vomiting and diarrhea, which lasted about 36 hours. Even today I am not feeling 100% but better, but I am happy I can finally eat. I went 48 hours with nothing but a little water in my belly.
Jocelynn ended up sick early Thanksgiving morning from 12:30 am until about 6am she was up vomiting every 15 minutes. I thought I was going to have take her to the emergency room, I didn't want her to get dehydrated. At one point I was having her drink juice and ginger ale after she vomited just so that maybe she would absorb some of it and so she would have something in her belly to vomit. The dry heaves were insane. She finally fell asleep about 6:30 and slept until 10:30 and seemed fine. She ate thanksgiving dinner with no issues.
John started last night, vomiting. He feels better today and has been able to eat something but I feel it will be at least another 24 hours before he is truly feeling better.

My Grandfather is also in the hospital. Wednesday he had emergency surgery to remove his Colan, He is "gravely ill" as the Dr. puts it. It will be a long road and as of this morning he was not doing as good as the Dr.'s hoped he would. Please just pray for him.

Also, my crazy brother goes and breaks his collar bone......Thanksgiving day, playing touch football. The ER Dr. told him, "it was the worst break she has ever seen." Go big or go home, right Cory....lol
He will be having surgery to fix this. Praying for a speedy recovery for him!

There is a lot of praying going on in our house. God is listening and will help us through all of this!

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Spending the Day in Mass......

John and I will be spending the day in Mass. on the 8th, not for fun or to shop but to go to the Dr.'s!

John has an appointment with his specialist @ 10am and I have 3 appointments (2:45 for an EKG, 3:00 for another Electrocardiogram and 4:00 is the appointment with the specialist!) that afternoon. Of course mine and his appointments are at different locations (30 minutes apart)

I can't believe I got an appointment before the end of the year! I am not going to see Dr. Langzberg. Instead I will see his associate Dr. Michelle Gurvitz. I can't find much information about her, but that may be good or bad. I guess we will see! I am pumped about seeing a woman. I find women Dr. to be a little more understanding and caring.

I do feel funny since my appointment will be at Children's Hospital Boston! Maybe that means I can have stuffed animals and be visited by a clown....lol

So Wednesday 12/8/2010 I hope to walk away from the Dr. appointment with a treatment plan!

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Just the way things go

Jocelynn has taken a few steps backwards. She make it 7 morning in a row waking up dry before having an accident 2 nights in a row. Not sure why, but I know these things are bound to happen. Then this morning was a dry one. 7 steps forward, 2 steps back....lol

She was very upset when she had her accidents, I know it bothers her. That is good and I hope it will help her succeed.

Jocelynn has also been dealing with a stuffy nose and cough. Not horrible but bad enough to bother her. Yesterday was the first day she ran a temp, and today she seems fine. I hope she is over the worst, she has a surprise arriving tomorrow.

Tomorrow I am super excited about. Jekka is coming for a visit! I haven't seen her since she moved to South Carolina the end of June! I have missed her more then I ever thought I would!!!!


Happy 7th Birthday (on the 13th) to my beautiful niece Gabby!!!! I really wish we lived closer so I could see you and Tyler more!

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Jocelynn is on a roll!!!!!

I am so proud of her! This morning was her 5th morning waking up dry!!!!!! Something seems to have clicked with her and every morning she get so excited when she realizes she didn't pee the bed.

Jocelynn has even go so far as to stop herself...Monday morning she woke up all upset... crying "mommy I'm sorry I peed the bed". I told her it was ok and that I wasn't mad because honestly I expected a few accidents. So I went to change her sheets and realized that she hadn't wet the bed! I checked her panties and sure enough they were wet, but it woke her up, she stopped peeing before it wet the sheets and went to use the potty! That accomplishment in it's self is amazing to me! I am praying and hoping that this is something that she will continue with and not just a fluke!

I do wake her up once a night, between 11 and midnight. I don't typically go to bed until then so it works out well for us. If Jocelynn continues to stay dry, John and I decided to stop waking her up and see what happens. Since beginning this 3 or 4 weeks ago, it has been easier and easier to wake her up at night. I guess only time will tell.


I received a call from Dr H's office (Cardiologist) this morning. They were able to get a hold of Dr. L's office (Dr. in Mass.). My records are being sent to Mass for review and Dr. L's office will be calling me with appointment information after looking at my records. I am hoping that things will progress quickly. It is in God's hands and I trust in whatever plan He has for me!

Friday, November 5, 2010

Headed to Mass....

Dr. Landzberg is the Dr. I will be seeing at Bringham and Women's Hospital. I don't have an appointment yet, My cardiologist office will be making an appointment and calling with the date and time.....so more waiting! I am hoping after I see Dr. Landzberg I will have a treatment course. I just want to fix this issue and move on with my life! I am hoping to get into to see this new Dr. before the end of the year, but if he is as good as my cardiologist claims he is I bet it will be the first of the year.

Apparently Dr. Landzberg is the best in the business. My cardiologist said this is considered congenital heart disease! Also I am a unique case....not sure if that is good or bad....

So TTC is on hold until further notice. I need to concentrate on getting healthy first!


In happier news, Jocelynn received her first report card today, all Satisfactory!!! She is doing very well with blending letters (ie: ta, te, lo, lu, li) she needs to work on recognizing letters and writing them on paper. She tends to write gigantic letters....lol I am so proud of my little girl! She is growing so fast!

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Busy Day Tomorrow...

First I get to hear the heart beat of my niece or nephew (due May 8, 2011). I am very excited and thankful that Kristina is so wonderful and including me in these visits! I couldn't ask for a better sister-in-law!

Second I have my Cardiologist Appointment @11 AM. The Dr. will have the results of the TEE I had done last Thursday and I am hoping the Dr. will have a course of treatment ready to discuss. I do know that the TEE confirmed the severity of the Valve problem, and I am prepared for the course of treatment I believe the Dr. will suggest, doesn't make it any less scary in fact it makes it more real coming from him.... I have fantastic support and know that with God, my family and friends I will get through this!

Finally tomorrow evening is something fun! I am 'working' but it is a Black Tie Gala to benefit the animals at Cocheco Valley Humane Society! I have a fantastic outfit to wear and I am looking forward to a wonderful meal, fun times with some of my favorite co-workers and maybe even a little dancing!

My Dress (I don't look as good as her, but I still like it!)

My Shoes to go with the above dress!

I will have to post pictures of me in the outfit. I am surprised I like the dress and shoes as much as I do. They really are not me at all, but they do make me feel pretty!!!!


We are also working with Jocelynn about not peeing to bed. She has been doing pretty well,except for this week. She is fighting of a pretty bad cold (runny/stuffy nose and cough). Hopefully when she is feeling better I can post about happy (dry) news....lol She is averaging about 2 or 3 night a week now, not too bad for working on it for only 3 weeks!

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Appointment

The Dr. called today. I will be going Thursday (10/28) to have the TransEsophageal Echocardiogram.
I have to be at the hospital at 6:45 am. I can't eat before and for 2 hours after, I won't be able to eat hot food for 24 hours after. I am nervous, not looking forward to this. I will be semi sedated, but still awake enough to swallow the probe......*gag* As long as this gives them a better picture of what is going on it is worth it!

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." ~ Deuteronomy 31:6


On to happier news! I'm going to be an Aunt again! My brother and sister in law (Cory and Kristina) are going to be welcoming another bundle of Joy next spring. Her due date in May 8th, hopefully this one can stay in the oven longer than Brooke did! I am beyond excited and can't wait to meet him or her!

Friday, October 22, 2010

The Dr. said......

Pulmonary Stenosis... I have to have a few more test run, and have another appointment in 2 weeks with the same Cardiologist! (11/5 @ 11:00 am) Who I really like. He has a great bedside manner and I feel like he sees me as another human being and not a patient number.

Next week he is sending me for a TransEsophageal Echocardiogram, He is not 100% positive that he will get a good picture of the valve this way, but he wants to try the least invasive first. If this doesn't work I will be having a Cardiac Catheterization.

So, it is still a waiting game. I can resume my normal activity (particularly the exercise program I started at the first of the month.) The Dr. did say that we should put trying for another child on hold until we find out more about this heart issue.....

The Dr. is also sending my to have a sleep study. He thinks I have sleep apnea,  I'm overweight, of course I do. Isn't that what all the Dr. think when someone is overweight....

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Anxious...

Cardiologist appointment in the morning....I'll admit I am anxious, but I have done a lot of praying (as well as my family and friends...thank you).

Jocelynn had her first field trip today! She had a blast, I was nervous but I survived! She went to Coppal House Farm went on a hay ride with Draft Horses and got a pumpkin!

Jocelynn's Picture of a Draft Horse. They pulled the wagon for the hay ride.



Monday we took John to the eye Dr. He found a piece of rusted metal embedded in the colored part of the iris.  Thankfully there has been no side effects and his eyesight is still pretty perfect. Just antibiotic drops 4 times a day this week. I am very thankful that this was not more serious!

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Interesting week.....

Anxious about my Dr. appointment on friday. I am just praying that everything is ok....

Had an interesting meeting yesterday, I can't go into much detail, but I will able to share in detail by Thursday/Friday! I am excited about the possibility!!!!!

Jocelynn is doing good in school. We received our first homework assignment this week. Working on blending T and L with all the vowels. We may look at sending her all 5 days after the first of the year.....we will see if she continues to fall behind with just the 4 days.

Grandpa Young ended up being taken to the hospital via ambulance on Friday. He has been complaining about have an issue with breathing, but of course didn't want to go to the hospital, until he woke up around 3am on Friday and really struggled to catch his breath. Once he arrived at the hospital they determined he has pneumonia. He seems to be doing ok. The have him on an oxygen machine, it forces the oxygen into his lungs. Today he seems to be able to stay off the machine for a longer period of time, which is a good sign. It looks like he will be in the hospital for a few more days.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

The Countdown begins....

Received a call from my PCP this morning, Cardiologist appointment is scheduled for Friday 10/22 @ 8:10am. Talk about not wasting any time.

I will continue to keep you all updated! Thank you for all the prayers!

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Some Scary News....

I am ok.....Here is what has happened over the last couple of weeks, and the scary news I received from the Dr.

I have a heart murmur. Not a major one, but one none the less. I had an EKG in 2004 when it was discovered, the Dr.'s were not overly worried.

So fast forward to 2 weeks ago, I went to the Dr., found out I had a UTI. While there I asked the Dr. if I needed to have the murmur checked out, It had been 6 years. He said yes.

So Last Tuesday (9-5) I went for a another EKG. The Dr. called with the results on Friday. I have a moderate to severe issue with one of my heart valves, and he wants me to see a Cardiologist.

I don't know much until I see the Cardiologist. I'm praying and hoping that this is nothing, but there is always that voice in the back of your head that tries to scare you.

Trying for another child has been put on hold until after I see the specialist....I am scared but have been doing a lot of praying, relying on God to give me the strength I need to get through this.

What really scared me is my PCP said that there is a 3-4 month wait for an appointment with a cardiologist but he is going to pull some strings to get me in within a couple weeks....eeekkkk.

For the time being, please just pray for me and for us.

Another disappointment...

So....this was not our month! I'm ok.....I really put a lot into this month and I an upset and disappointed that I am still a failure as a woman, but I will be okay. God has a plan for me, and I trust in Him!

On another note, John and I are on a break from trying to conceive. Not our choice, it is the Dr. and hopefully next cycle we can get back on track. Please pray we get to see the specialist sooner then later. (I will go into more detail in another post)


*** I am so happy for you JD!!!! Stalking has official began!***

Friday, October 1, 2010

Interesting......

I mean the last 2 weeks that is!

Tuesday (9/21/10) my Dad had Surgery on his R knee. Cory (my brother) went to the hospital with him, so I was at home with 2-five year olds. It was fun. I decided to let them "style" (a term I use loosely)my hair. They had a blast and enjoyed the time with them.....
Brooke's Work
Jocelynn's Work

Then we had manicures and John took us 3 girls out to lunch! It was a very fun day! Dad's surgery went well. He is up and moving know and in hardly any pain!
Tuesday (9/22/2010) John and I took Jocey to the Rochester Fair. Overall I was unimpressed. They didn't have as many rides, vendors or animals. Jocelynn had a blast and wanted to ride everything (thankfully she isn't big enough...yet) including the zipper
and the freak out......
I think we have a daredevil on our hands!

Jocey also started a new school schedule this week....she will be going Mon., Tues., Wed., and Fri. from now on. Tuesdays are music class, she was missing them. Her teacher asked if there was anyway she could add Tuesdays. So after talking to John and Jocey about it, we decided it was a good thing!

Her first Tuesday (9/28/10) at school happen to also be picture day! I can't wait to see the proofs (which we should have back in a week). I hope there is at least one good one!!!!(they took 3 or 4 poses)

I had to make an appointment with my PCP, I started having some L side pain Thursday at work, and it seemed to get worse throughout the day. Thursday night (9/30/10) was awful. I hardly slept and I was in pain. So I went to my appointment to find out I have a UTI (Urinary Tract Infection), so I am on an antibiotic and hope to feel better tonight and get some sleep.

On the TTC front.....CD 21! What does that mean???? MORE bloodwork! Seems to be all I do! I am praying that this is our month! I have way too many woman (Some who I am close too) who are pregnant around me.....I wanna play too!!!!! The Dr. gave me antibiotics that are safe if I am pregnant. We should know yes or no in about 7-10 days!!! 

Monday, September 20, 2010

More and More and More!

Today is CD10! Which meant blood-work with morning. Which is always fun first thing. Luckily the new Lab person that I am seeing on these weekly visits is great! She can get me first time and she is supper friendly and keeps me talking the entire time. I do miss Kathy at my old Dr.'s office, but I see this new relationship building (in the back of my mind I am hoping that this is it though).

Clomid is done!!!! One side effect that has been unusual for this this month is my lack of appetite! I'm not complaining, I just hope it continues so I can loose some weight.......

Jocelynn is doing great at school, she has a hard time getting up in the morning. She is like me and does NOT like to be woke up! We like to wake up on our own time.....kinda hard with School and Work. She still enjoys going and has brought home some great work. I have decided to document all her weekly projects by taking a picture of them. Then I can look back and remember without actually keeping everything. I will keep a few important or sentimental things. Look for pictures of her weekly work on facebook!

I am still working on the devotional for John (he is working on the one for me) and I am surprised how much it has helped me understand him better.

It has also helped me look at things in my life differently, especially since the last 2 weeks have been very hard emotionally for me. I have felt very alone. It is tough when you feel like you have no one to turn too! People you thought would be there for you aren't, for one reason or another. I have tried talking to John, but we just end up in an argument and it isn't worth it. I have relied a lot on God these last 2 weeks and he has helped me see that I am NOT alone! I am still learning, and it is different because sometimes I want those physical arms around me hugging, but I do find comfort in my daily conversations with Him!

Monday, September 13, 2010

Here we go again!!!!

Yes, we are back on the monthly rollercoaster of meds and bloodwork! Sat was CD1, thankfully I took it this month in stride! It was strange, don't get me wrong, I was upset but I didn't throw the usual pity party! I have a feeling it is because we are actually doing something! No more TTC naturally! So I will be taking Clomid CD 5-9 Watch out world.....lol

I had Bloodwork this morning and will go 2 more time over the next 2 weeks (CD 10 & CD 21). I am praying that this is the month and that I will be announcing some very happy news in October. It is in God's hands and His will! I have faith and believe and trust whatever He has in store for us on this journey!

******************************

 I have started a devotion for John. It is called "The Power of a Praying Wife" by Stormie Omartian. It has really opened my eyes and helped me understand the way John thinks and feels. I have also started praying for him twice a day, the evening one is the prayer at the end of that chapter for the day and in the morning is my own prayer. The book has taught me a different way to pray and how in order for him to be strong and help him deal with his thoughts and feelings I need to enlist God's help. I think anyone who is looking for someway to help lift up and support their husband, this is the book for you. 

John and I have always had a strong marriage, of course we have had our bump and bruises, what marriage doesn't. Since I have been doing this devotional, I have felt a stronger connection to John and have a better respect for him.

On a side note, Stormie Omartian also has "The Power of a Praying Husband" which John has decided on his own to read! What better way to connect with each other then through the power of God and prayer! 

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Time to relax.......It's been crazy!

The last week has been super busy, fun and emotionally draining!

Our best friends were up to visit for a few days! It was great getting to spend time with them!we weren't able to do much (because of the weather) but just having them around was great! Tyler and Jody I hope you both feel better soon!!!!!!

Jocelynn started pre-school on Tuesday (9/7)! She loved it! Monday was my emotional day, between out friends leaving (that morning) and jocey starting school (the next day) I was a basket case! I broke down 3 times and by the end of the night I was emotionally drained. Monday was easier for me, I did get teary eyed as I drove away from the school, but that is normal. I realized that this is the first time I have left Jocey in the care of some one who wasn't family or someone I knew on a personal level. It was a little scary!

She also went yesterday and was excited (guess that is a good sign!). Both days she didn't want to leave (it killed me a little inside). Thursday she stays home with Grammie and she was a little upset that she didn't get to go back to school....lol

She has made friends with a little boy names Noah! The teacher says they are inseparable! I think it is because he is the only boy that is close to her height....lol

On the TTC front, I am getting a little excited for this cycle! Not that I am looking forward to the Clomid side effects, but I feel like we are doing somthing to help, instead of TTC naturally! I pray to God that this is the cycle!!!!

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Fun and Busy weekends!

September 1st....wow. Things are starting to get busy again. Tis the holiday season!

Last Saturday (8-28) we had a family trip to Canobie Lake Park! I was fun. 10 adults and 2 very excited little girls! The adults didn't get to go on many of the rides (it was Saturday and the lines were LONG!) but the girls had a blast on their rides! It was nice to just get together and spend the time talking and "picking on" each other!

Sunday (9-29) was the Air Show ate Pease Airforce Base! John, Jeremy, Jenn and I had fun. It was extremely hot and we left after only 5 hours, but what we saw while there was awesome!!!! Take a look at my facebook page for pictures!

This coming weekend promises to be another super busy weekend! Our best friends from Delaware are coming up and I can't wait to the time we have together!

Jocelynn's first day of school is in less than a week! She is excited and I am nervous. Hopefully it will go as smothly as I hope!

Friday, August 27, 2010

One foot in front of the other.....

I am trying. Getting back into the routine is tough. I am hoping to get better, especially since we start back on med (Clomid) next cycle (sometime in the beginning to middle of September)and I want to make sure I put all the information here! Mainly so I have a record (so I don't forget anything.....like I could) and also for the few of you who actually care what is going on with me!

I will put my cycle ticker back up in "Our TTC Journey" section.

While we are on that subject, John and I received some fairly good news (it could have been better)but I am not complaining. We found out that John's surgery worked!!! His count has increased to almost normal (we are just off by about 4 million, but I'm not counting...lol). Since we have been seeing John's specialist (just over a year) between the meds and surgery his count has more than doubles!!! Now as long as I can get my body to do what it needs to we should be on the way to baby!!!!

Also we received news tonight that John is qualified and being considered for a job at the Portsmouth Naval Shipyard. This is wonderful news and we will continue to pray that if this is God's will that He help make it happen!

Thursday we had oopen house at Jocelynn's new school. She was so excited and seemed to really feel at home. Her first day is 9/6 and I will be taking a ton of pictures. Here she is all dressed up for open house...

 I can't believe my baby is going to school. You know where you will find me on her first day. Looking through all her baby pictures and crying..... Then I will dry the tears and put on a smile when I pick her up!

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Bad Blogger.....

WOW! Where has the time gone? I can't believe I haven't updated in 3 months......funny thing is life hasn't seemed that busy, I guess it was!

I will try harder to make sure I update more often! Hopefully with my new work schedule (see below) it will be easier!

June.....wow, where did the first half of 2010 go?

John and I celebrated our 8th Wedding Anniversary! Again, were has the time gone? I love you honey, more than you will ever know!!

The end of June marked a very sad time for us, we had family move away, and although it is good for them and I am happy for them, we are sad to see them go! Jekka, Robin and Tony we love you! Can't wait to visit!

JULY....Damn it's hot!

We had allot of fun hanging out in the pool. Jocelynn is doing a great job with her swimming!

We were able to make a trip to Delaware the end of July! We had a blast helping my mother and father-in-law with their new house and we had a BLAST spending time with our best friends, niece and nephew! I can't believe how fast they are growing and I loved every minute with them!

AUGUST.... Happy Birthday John!!!! He turns 33 today! He (along with our daughter) is my world and I'm not sure where I would be without him!  <3

As you can see summer has been about spending time together and just enjoying family and friends!

John has finally gone back to work! He is really enjoying it again, he misses the time with jocelynn, but is happy to be doing "his job and taking care of his family" as he puts it. As a result I have been able to cut back my hours at work. I know work Monday, Thursday and Friday 8-4. I am enjoying the extra time at home with Jocelynn!

Other good news - Jocelynn will be starting PreK the week of September 6! She is excited, I, on the other hand, am having a hard time. Silly me, I have already had a mini meltdown when I was filling out the registration form. The first day will be hard, but I know it is what is best for her. She will be attending Monday, Wednesday and Fridays from 8:30 - 2:30! I am excited about the "me" time on Wednesdays, which as you know will consist of laundry, dishes and grocery shopping....lol

John spoiled me once again a few weeks ago. He surprised me at work with a new Pandora charm.

It is called the "Tree of Life". It is supposed to represent family and life. I thought it was very sweet of him!

Just a couple weeks ago John purchased The Nook for me from Barnes and Noble! I LOVE IT!!!!! We purchased the Wifi capable one only, I didn't think the 3G for an extra $50 was necessary!

On the TTC front - No new or happy news to report. Still failing the test every month........
We find out on the 25th if John's surgery helped at all. I have this nightmare that the Dr. will tell us it didn't help and that in fact it made matters worse. Silly me ,again, I know!

I have been reevaluation how I am going about things and looking at things, God has a plan for me and I am trying my hardest to remember that and put all faith on him. I'm not perfect, I have my bad days, but I know He is always there with me to help me through!

"I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." ~  Philippians 4:13

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Better....

I am feeling a little better. Things are always rough for me on the first couple of days of a new cycle. Between the hormones and the disappointment it is sometime a little overwhelming to me and I sink into a hole.

I am better now, I am ready for the new cycle. I am starting 2 herbal meds, and fertility supplement and a PMS helper. John has also started a new med. John recently had some more blood-work and the result were that John's testosterone has tanked again. So the Dr. added another med to his regiment. 1/2 tab of Clomid a day. We will know in a few weeks if this new med (along with the other med) will work.

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On a happier note, we were able to use the pool for the first (and second) time this week! The weather was wonderful and Jocelynn had a blast in the pool!
Happy Belated Birthday to my brother Cory! Enjoy this year, it is the last in your 20's!!!!

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Tired of this game.

Onto another cycle, cycle 44 to be exact......WTH! After being a week late the witch shows up! Why can't this be easier? What am I supposed to get out of this journey besides heartache and frustration. Why can't I get pregnant like every other woman I know....is it because I'm married, I love my husband and we are good people? Maybe I need to be the unmarried crack whore down the street who has 4 children each with a different daddy, who doesn't appreciate the gifts she has been given, who can't take care of her children without soaking the state and any family she has of money. WHY?!?!?! can't this just be easier! WHY?!?!

I understand I am blessed. I have a beautiful daughter and a wonderful husband who are my world, but I want more. More children that is! I want to feel like a woman, not a broken failure who rides this damn emotional rollercoaster every month. Who rants about what she doesn't have when I know I should look at what I have and not what I don't.....how do you do that? How do you tell the voices to shut up when they chant....."broken failure of a woman, not worthy to have more kids, you suck as a parent to the one you have?"

Thank God for my husband and a few friends, some of who do not understand what I am going through, but are always there when I need a shoulder to cry on. Who in there own way say exactly what I need to hear, even if I don't want to hear it!

I am just tired of it all! Tired of living my life 2 weeks at a time. Tired of wondering what every little feeling in my body means. Tired of checking every time I use the bathroom. Tired of wondering if this will be the month Tired of riding this damn emotional roller coaster! Just. Tired!

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Always find a little ray of sunshine.....

This past weekend was the best! We ended up spending the day at Fort Foster! It was beautiful! It started out a little chilly and windy, but by noon it was warm and sunny! We were able to fly a kite, blow bubbles and Jocelynn and I even put our feet in the ocean....it was freezing!
Flying the Kite....All the string was out!

Mommy and Jocelynn

The hillside covered with bubbles!


Last night We helped Grammie in the garden. Jocelynn really enjoys being out there and getting her hands dirty...lol
Moving the Mulch for Grammie! Anything to drive her car

Ready with her gloves on!

Other then that life is the same thing day after day! I thank GOD everyday that I wake up for what I have been blessed with!
Just last night, Jocelynn wrapped her arms around me and said "you are the best Mommy in the world!" I thought I was going to cry, it was the sweetest thing and exactly what I needed to hear at that moment!


A Belated Happy Anniversary to our best friends, Julio and Jody!

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Life is entertaining sometimes!

What can I say...having a 4 year old is entertaining. She amazes me everyday with the things she says, her actions and the songs she sings...

Jocelynn loves to sing! She only has to hear a song 3-4 times and she will be singing along with it. Even songs we don't even realize she knows....she started singing "lollipop"
                        Lollipop Lollipop
                       Oh Lolli Lolli Lolli
                        Lollipop  *POP*
                       Call my baby Lollipop
                       Tell you why
                       'Cause he's sweeter than an apple pie
After I stopped laughing...mainly from shock, I asked her were she had heard that song and she said TV! I'm still confused, but she found the song and it stuck in her head....lol


It is also funny to "see" her brain working to figure things out. From explaining or asking questions to pronouncing words. Also understanding things that are said to her......
              Jocelynn was headed to bed and was giving Grammie a kiss good night, she doesn't actually 'kiss' but pucker her lips and 'tap' them against your cheek. Well grammie wanted a kiss...Grammie said "I want a smack." Jocelynn looked at her funny and slowly brought her hand up to grammies cheek so she coule 'smack' grammie.....LOL. She knew it was wrong to hit grammie, but hadn't grammie asked.......Wrong kinda smack!
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Things have been interesting the last few days. I have had quiet a few ups and downs...seems I have been playing the "poor me" card and I hate it! I though I had a handle on my emotions, especially concerning my inabilaty to conceive, but I guess everyone is entitled to their bad days. I try and focus on the blessing I have and my faith that GOD has a plan for me and that I am not alone. 
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This weekend is a busy one....or should I say Sunday is busy. Saturday is pretty open and I am hoping we will be doing something outside, enjoying the beautiful weather we are supposed to have. Sunday is church and 2 birthday parties at the same time. My cousin's 3rd birthday and my grandfathers 75th birthday. So I don't expect to see home much before 6-7 pm that night. *sigh*

Saturday, April 24, 2010

National Infertility Awareness Week

NIAW ~ April 24 - May 1, 2010.

Infertility Facts from Wikipedia:

* Generally, worldwide it is estimated that one in seven couples have problems conceiving, with the incidence similar in most countries independent of the level of the country's development.

* Most couples (about 84 out of every 100) who have regular sexual intercourse (that is, every 2 to 3 days) and who do not use contraception will get pregnant within a year. About 92 out of 100 couples who are trying to get pregnant do so within 2 years.

* Women become less fertile as they get older. For women aged 35, about 94 out of every 100 who have regular unprotected sexual intercourse will get pregnant after 3 years of trying. For women aged 38, however, only 77 out of every 100 will do so. The effect of age upon men’s fertility is less clear.

* In people going forward for IVF in the UK, roughly half of fertility problems with a diagnosed cause are due to problems with the man, and about half due to problems with the woman. However, about one in five cases of infertility have no clear diagnosed cause.

* In Britain, male factor infertility accounts for 25% of infertile couples, while 25% remain unexplained. 50% are female causes with 25% being due to anovulation and 25% tubal problems/other.

* In Sweden, approximately 10% of couples are infertile. In approximately one third of these cases the man is the factor, in one third the woman is the factor and in the remaining third the infertility is a product of factors on both parts.



Unfortunately, more and more couples face infertility and the heartbreak of being unable to conceive a child(ren). There is nothing a man or woman can do to prevent infertility and it may go undiagnosed for years. That is until a couple decided to start a family and even then after multiple test, procedures and exam it could still take months or years for a explanation and then you are labeled "unexplained infertility" if no know reason is found.

John and I are part of this growing group of couples. We are unfortunate enough to experience infertility factor with both of us. I was diagnosed in 2004 with PCOS. And John was diagnosed in 2009 with low testosterone levels, low sperm count and a Varicocele, which he had surgery to help correct in 2/2010.

We have been blessed with a beautiful daughter, who arrived happy and healthy in our arms on 12-12-2005 at 1:58am and after TTC (trying to conceive) for 3 1/2 years.

We are still praying and waiting for another blessing (or two). and have been TTC since 12/2006. The heartache we have gone through is nothing I would wish on the evilest person on Earth. I only hope that infertility awareness gets out there and that everyone who has been blessed with children (whether after struggling with infertility or not) knows what a blessing they have and they thank God everyday!

Friday, April 23, 2010

Where did the last month go.....

WOW, a whole month. What is my problem.....oh yeah, it's called life....lol

What have I not blogged about?

Easter ~ Easter was a blast with the girls. I have a million pictures! They actually fought over the eggs, there was 120 eggs and they fought over them....lol. I guess kids will be kids.

Vacation ~ Was wonderful! We had a great week with family and friends. We spend our time helping my Mother and Father-in-law clean out the house they were selling. Celebrating my nephew Tyler's 1st Birthday and spending time with my niece Gabby! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TYLER! and spending some much needed time with our best friends.

Now we are settling back into our routine. It is amazing how much vacation messes you up. I hope to have some time soon to really update.

On the TTC front, we are onto another cycle......#43

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Busy 2 weeks....

Things have been busy. Life just seems to fly by me like I am standing still.....

The 11th and 12th I was very sick. Some kinda flu bug, I was in bed for both days and some of the 13th with severe nausea .I am feeling much better now, and no one else in the house has been sick, John is going to the Dr. today because he has a sore throat....I hope it isn't something else that is going around!

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John went for his post-op appointment on the 17th. The Dr. said he was healing well and that he could resume normal activities as long as he felt comfortable. He did put John on an antibiotic just in case, but he believes the pain and redness around his wound is from the knot on the stitches. Time will tell. It is looking much better, but not sure if that is from the meds or the stitch knot dissolving......

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Today Jocelynn went to the Orthopedic specialist about her feet. He did x-rays again and said that she is improving. She still has some issues, but he still believes that they will 'fix' themselves as she grows and gets stronger. He believe that dance, tap and ballet, or karate will help with her strength, so we will be checking on signing her up for one of those. She has been asking about dance class so we will probably try that first.

The Dr. also said that she is advanced in her motor skills for a 4 year old and very strong. She comprehended instructions, ie: stand on your heals, better then most 4 year olds. I was impressed with how quickly she followed his instruction when asked to push her feet, legs and knees different ways. I was a very proud Mommy.....lol

We will go back to see him in a year just to make sure things aren't worse. Over all he felt pretty good with her progress in the last 2 years and the improvement that has been made and the changes shown in her x-rays. We should start to see an improvement in her 'gracefulness' over the next 2 years. We can only hope....lol

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On to TTC news.....we are again onto the next cycle. Not surprising since John's surgery was at the important part of my cycle. Knowing it wouldn't happen this month didn't make the disappointment any easier, but I have handled it well. This is the first month I have not cried.  Cycle 42 here we come.....lol

John and I have decided that we will try without medical intervention until our cycle that starts in June. Then we will do 1-2 months of observation with the Dr., but no meds. Then we will start the Clomid again. John has a s/a scheduled for Sept., 6 months after surgery, and that will give us an idea if the surgery worked. So once again it is all about waiting......I think that is the most frustrating thing about all of this....we seem to always be waiting!

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

What's been going on......

What can I say. This past week has been more of the same old, same old.

John is still healing, and feeling much better. He is know able to sleep in bed and is only taking the pain meds when needed, which is basically at night. Today we went out to lunch and grocery shopping. He did good, he did get tired and took a little nap when we returned home.

We have also been having a blast outside. Enjoying the sun and nice weather. John has been able to get out and fly his plane. Jocelynn has enjoyed the swing set, her bike and power wheel for the first time this year. Also playing with Spanky outside.

Spanky and Mulan enjoying the sun. Seems she likes the top of the swing set.
Jocelynn on her bike for the first time this year.
"relaxing" on the swing.....lol
She has also managed to get a black eye just 2 1/2 weeks after the stitches in her bottom......my poor girl!

Work for me is frustrating as always......but it shall pass. I am looking forward to the vacation we are takingin April to see Friends and Family!

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On the TTc 'front': This cycle is a bust, even before AF shows I know this. I knew this going into this cycle, but we are moving in the right direction! The next cycle I am planning on starting my meds (metformin and prenatal vitamins) again and we will wait to see what happens over the next few months.....I keep praying the surgery works and John will begin to feel better!

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Finally an update!

Things have been crazy in the last week. I have a few things to update

John's surgery was last week (2/25/2010) everything went great. The Dr. was able to staple off the vericosele and John is recovering. It was a much more invasive surgery then either of us thought, so the recovery road is slow and bumpy, but we will get there. John goes for a post-op appointment on 3/17 at 8:45 and we will go from there.

John is still sleeping in the recliner, it hurts for him to lay in bes, and he is beginning to move and is doing alot of walking and sleeping. He is still on his pain meds every 4-5 hours, he can take advil during the day, but first thing in the morning is the worst. (I will be a 'play by play' of the day of surgery when I have a little more time....lol)

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Jocelynn finally has her stitches out. It was worse then when she had the stitches put in. Friday the Dr.'s office didn't have power so our appointment was rescheduled for Monday. It took myself and 2 nurses to hold her down so the Dr. could remove the stitches. It didn't hurt, she was just afraid it would. She SCREAMED the entire time! It was so bad, that by the last stitch I was balling my eyes out and telling Jocelynn how sorry I was.....how is that for staying strong.....

I was so embarassed after they were done. I have never broke down like that in a Dr.'s office....even the RE. The Dr. made me feel a little better and said that it is tough when your child is screaming like that. Also with the stress I have been under with John's surgery, she wasn't surprised that I broke down. All I have to say is I love my Dr. and the office! They have been so great and understanding! Especially in the 1st year of Jocelynn's life when it seemed like I was calling the poor nurse every week!

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Happy Belated Birthday to my wonderful Niece and Nephew, Jekka and TJ! I can't believe you two are 22! Man you make me feel old!   <3

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Monday, February 22, 2010

Family Weekend

This past weekend was great! It was relaxing and we spent alot of time together as a family. We went out with My mom on Saturday, and then on Sunday we went to Church and then out with John's sister for lunch/dinner. It was nice to spend time with people you love.

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I was able to purchase another charm for my Pandora (from my grandfather). I wanted the angel of hope, but they were sold out and they said that is one of the charms they are unable to keep in stock. So instead I purchased the dolphin charm. Amyone who knows me, knows that I LOVE dolphins and this is a very appropriate charm for me to have...lol
 
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We are planning a trip down to see my in-laws in the next few weeks. I am excited to see them and our best friends as well!

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John's Surgery is this Thursday. I won't lie, I am extremly nervous. I know he will be fine, I just hate the thought of him going through this. I won't know alot until late Thursday or Friday, so I will update when I can.

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On the TTC front, we are onto cycle 41......Damn you AF! I see a light at the end of the tunnel, I just feel like I am not reaching it quickly enough......I am not a very patient person and the battle with infertility has stretched what little patience I have to their limit. I can do this! I will be stronger then Infertility!

Friday, February 19, 2010

Jocelynn's Boo-Boo.....

Jocelynn had her first set of Stitched on Wednesday (2/17/2010). 3 Stitched in her left butt cheeke......go ahead snicker....I'm not the least bit surprised that her first set of stitches are in that particular place. She is not the most graceful person and spends alot of time falling on her bottom and knees. It isn't her 'fault', she has a issue with her feet turning in. we are currently seeing an pediatric Orthopedic Specialist. She has a check-up with him on 3/23/2010. She sees him once a year to make sure this issue isn't getting worse. He states that this is something that should be fixed as she grows and her legs become stronger. Worse case scenerio, she will need surgery when she is a teen.

Anywho, she was playing in the livingroom, my dad was watching her (I was at work and John was in Mass. at his pre-surgery appointment). My dad said she fell and started crying pretty good (usually we just tell her to get up, she will be alright), Dad knew by the cry that she had hurt herself pretty good.

He finds the wound and gives me a call at work, told me he thinks she needs stitches. Ok, I call the Dr. office, speak to the nurse and she says to bring her down and the Dr. will see her.

We get to the office, he looks at the wound and says, "yes, that will need stitches." I was alittle nervous, this is her first major 'accident' and it isn't as major as it could be.

Lots of crying (I'll admit, a little by me too), 3 needles pokes, trying to calm a 4 year old down and 3 stitches later we are done. phew..... She was a trooper and really did as well as any 4 year old who doesn't understand what is happening and why she has to get hurt could do. I was very proud of her (and a little of me because I didn't completely break down like I could have). It was by far the WORST experience of my life. It wasn't really bad, but it was MY child who was hurting! It is the worst feeling to know they are in pain or sick and you can't do anything about it!

She hasn't complained at all about her boo-boo since. She sat wrong once and said "owww" but you wouldn't even know other wise. She goes back on 2/26 to have the stitches removed. That should be "fun" as well.

Here is what I found out happened......We have baseboard heat, apparently the cover to the heater fell off (whether before the fall or it was kicked off in the process of her fall, we don't know)She fell right on the metal brackets that support the heater.

It looks really good, no infection, but it is pretty black and blue!

I know this is the first of may bruises and boo-boo's. Some with me worse then others, hopefully I can deal with it all......lol

Monday, February 15, 2010

More Time and Birthday presents...lol

There are never enough hours in the day....LOL

John finally received a call from the Dr. We are keeping his meds at the same dose, this is very good news to me. I guess we will see what the next set of blood-work says....

Things have been interesting around here. I had a wonderful birthday! Spending time with John and Jocelynn on my birthday and then having family dinner the next night was great! I have passed the 30 mark and although it was hard, this year was a breeze! 31 in no big deal! I am still a spring chicken, even though sometimes I don't feel like it!

So I bet you are all dying to know what I got for my birthday?????? Here are a few....lol....pictures!

The 'Edward' teddy bear from Build-a-Bear from Jekka!
 
The flowers from John and Jocelynn

John gave me a Pandora bracelet!! I have been wanting one since before Christmas! I have the sterling silver one and my parents, brothers and grandfather all gave me money to purchase or purchased a charm for the bracelet! 

The Bracelet and 2 Clips to help keep the charms in place are from John
My Mom gave me money and I purchased a charm with my birthstone....which I though was fitting since I received the bracelet for my birthday.
 My Dad gave me money and I purchased a charm with Jocelynn's Birthstone.
Cory, Kristina and Brooke gave me an elephant charm for good luck.
Jeremy and Jen gave me a rabbit charm.I love rabbits!
Grandpa gave me money and I think I will be adding the angel of hope charm to my bracelet!
I have wanted a charm bracelet for many years and completely over the moon happy that I have one now!

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

This made me laugh!




Seems they took a page out of my life journal........I have tears in my eyes from laughing so hard..........better to laugh then cry i guess!

Another Year......man I am getting old!

So here we are again. My birthday! How did I get here? 31!!! Man, I can't believe how much time has passed! So....I always reflect on the previous year on my birthday! That will have to be another post. John and Jocelynn are taking me out today, and I am having a date with my husband tonight! So until I have more time.....Happy Birthday to me!

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Still no news

The Dr. still hasn't called about John's meds. He is continuing the dose he was originally given. Maybe she isn't changing it, but it would be nice if she would call and tell us that!

Jocelynn's funny for the day: John, Jocelynn and I were wrestling on the floor last night. Jocelynn stood up, looked at John and said "Daddy, your going down!!" I was crying I was laughing so hard! I don't know were she gets these says, but it amazes me she can use them correctly!

Thursday when I got home from work, She greeted me with "Mommy I don't like your hair cut. I like it long!" I was crushed! I then asked he if she would like me to cut her hair and she yelled "NO!" and grabbed her hair! I had to laugh!

Thursday, February 4, 2010

The New Hair!

I had a hair cut today. I was able to get 11 inches to donate!

Here is my new hair style!

The Front.
 
The Back

Tucked behind my ears.

I LOVE it! I go in 6 weeks for a trim and to put red highlights in it. We will see if I actually follow through!


Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Making Progress

John received the blood-work results. The medication the Dr. put him on to help increase his Testosterone is working. His numbers doubled in a month and are now smack dab in the middle of the normal range! This is great news. The specialist is reviewing the results and will decide whether to keep him on the same dose or decrease. I hope she gets back to us by the end of the week.

We are still in a kind of a holding pattern with Jocelynn and staying dry at night. She will have a few really good nights and then a few nights were she isn't dry. We are staying very strict with making sure she has nothing to drink after dinner except a few sips at bed time. I'm sure this will be a long road.

She also has been very mouthy lately. Talking back and arguing. Not sure what has brought that on, but we are nipping it in the bud. Pretty soon she will have no toys to play with and only be allowed in her bedroom except for meals. Sounds harsh, but this is one of those things I do not take lightly!

On a good note, her manners are amazing. She really has grasped the concept of please and thank you, almost to the point of it being hard to say no when she looks at you and says "Mommy, may I please have 'insert whatever she wants'?" She doesn't always get what she wants, but man it is hard....lol.

She is at the point were she understands what brothers and sisters are. She has asked me on more than one occasion if she can have a brother or sister, or asked me if there is a baby in my belly. Damn you infertility! It kills me every time. How do you explain to a 4 year old why she doesn't have a brother or sister yet even though Mommy and Daddy have been trying? It is so hard. All I tell her is that when God finds the perfect little brother or sister for her He will sent them this way. I am waiting for the day when she will pray to God and ask him.

Other then tho occasional interesting thing Jocelynn comes out with it is pretty boring here! We are all waiting for Winter to be over so we can get out side. The Winter blues have definitely set in and I am trying my hardest to not let them affect me! I keep trying to focus on what we have coming up between John's surgery (which I am nervous and anxious about) to everyone's Birthdays and Jocelynn appointment with the orthopedic specialist for a recheck on her legs(in March). I will be keeping everyone posted as these events happen!

PS: Thursday I am going to cut my hair! I am tired of it and I am also hoping it will make me feel good. So good by long hair, hello short hair.

Before:
 

Here is what I want: In my color. I'm not dying my hair....yet

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Finally.........

John's surgery is scheduled for Thursday 2/25/10. We don't have a specific time, but at least we have a date now! We will be receiving a packed in the mail and hopefully it will have a time. We will be going to Massachusetts General Hospital. We are excited and nervous. I am hoping this helps John feel better and helps him get healthy again.

We really like the Dr. who will be preforming the surgery. He knows all of our concerns and he has gone over the risk and we understand. Varicoceles are something that John will be faced with for the rest of his life. Although it is stated that it is harmless, the Dr. believes that the varicocele is the cause of John's low sperm count, low testoterone (which causes his mood swings) and the pain that he has been experiencing.

The prognosis looks very good for repairing all the issues that the varicocele has created and also we are praying that it will help in our journey to add more little ones to the the family!

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Getting better!

Happy Birthday Jody!!!!!!!!!


Things have been good. The Dr. didn't call with a surgery date, but John will call and harass them next week...lol

Work is good, there are changes being made that are upsetting, but life will go on.

Jocelynn is doing great. Still working at staying dry at night, but we are moving in baby steps forward. She is always surprising me with the little things she comes up with.

I have been doing ok. I am feeling better after having some kinda sinus/chest congestion thing. Not sure what it was all about but it can go away. ever since my pneumonia last July, I have had a small cough, but this is crazy. I might head to the Dr. next week if it doesn't get any better.

I am officially late again.....not hoping too much, but always a little. I just wish I could take a pregnancy test and know for sure yes or no. I hate being in Limbo. I suppose if I don't start by Thursday/Friday I will call the Dr. That will put me past the longest cycle I have ever had. It would be great if this was our month.....I guess only time will tell.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Appointment Down.....bring on the hospital!

Today was John's appointment with the surgeon. We didn't get a surgery date, but we will have one by the end of the week....hopefully. The Dr. said the ladies that schedule the surgery will be calling Thursday or Friday, So I am pretty sure we will have a date by Friday.

The surgery is a little more involved then we first thought. He may have to stay in MHG over night for observation. The Dr. said if he looks good and feels good the evening of the surgery, then by all means he will send him home. Surgery will be on a Thursday, the Dr. said end of February, Beginning of March.....but we will know more later...lol
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I am feeling better. Still not 100%. I have this weird nasal.chest congestion and clicking in my ears when I swallow. I guess I will be going to the Dr. if I am not better by next week.
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Jocelynn is doing good. She amazes me every day! She is so funny and so entertaining with her 'phrases' she comes out with.

Just tonight, Mom was taking down the curtains in the living room and Bath room, Jocelynn comes in and says "grammie you are ruining my life." Mom said "what?" and Jocelynn said "you are ruining my life by taking down the curtains." I don't know were she comes up with these things....lol
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CD27 today. Not sure what will happen this month, but I guess the next 10 days will tell.

Friday, January 15, 2010

Sick, sick and sick....

Things have been interesting in the last week. Jocelynn is doing good again with staying dry at night. I can't believe how proud of her I am for accomplishing this. I know we still have a long road ahead, but we are headed in the right direction!

John received a call from Dr. Cori in Mass. We have an appointment on wednesday 1/20 at 2pm for his surgery consultation. I hope that we have a surgery date when we leave the office.

I have been busy with work and sick. Some kind of sinus/cold thing going on. It started Tuesday(1/12)afternoon around 3pm. My nose became unbelievable stuffy, I left work at 4 and came home and went straight to bed. Tossed and turned all night. Luckily I had Wednesday off from work and I called out of work on Thursday. Both days I spent 3/4 of the day in bed sleeping and napping and didn't get dressed until later afternoon when I had to go to the store for more meds or juice. Nyquil (day and nigh) has become my best friend. I did manage to go to work today and stay the entire day. I am starting to feel better and hope to be 100% by Sunday.

The TTC is going slow. I'm not even sure were I am in my cycle or if I ovulated. John and I have decided to TTC naturally until after his surgery. I am happy and sad about this at the same time. I just feel like life is passing me by. I will be 31 in just 4 weeks and my biological clock is SCREAMING in my ear. I know we are headed in the right direction and everything is in God's hands and by his timing, I just am not a patient person.

"strengthened with all power, according to His glorious might, for the attaining of all steadfastness and patience; joyously" Colossians 1:11

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Happy New Year!!!! 2010

Better late then never...LOL Things have been crazy here for the last week!

Happy Birthday MOM! Her Birthday was on 1/4

Jocelynn has had a little back slide. She hasn't woke up dry since my last post. Things have been crazy and we have been a little relaxed on letting her have water before bed. We will get there!
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I have spent way too much time in the hospital the last few days. Not for me but my Dad. He hurt his leg at work before Christmas and I told him to go and have it looked at (he is prone to infection). Well, he didn't and sure enough, New Years Day it was all red. He went to the ER and they gave him a shot of antibiotics and a prescription.

The next morning it was worse, he went to the ER (Sat) as directed the day before and the Dr. decided to go right to IV antibiotics and a new prescription for stronger antibiotics. He was instructed to came back again the next day.

The next morning (Sun) it looked even worse. Back to the ER we go for IV Antibiotics. with instructions to come back again the next day.

On Monday, it didn't look any better, off to the ER as instructed, this time they admitted him so they could administer IV Antibiotics 4 times a day.

Dad is now home, finally, today (Thur). It still isn't complete recovered but it does look better. He is out of work until a week from Monday.

It seems funny that if he had only listened to his daughter he could have avoided all of this! MEN!
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We are still in a holding pattern for John's Surgery. Hoping to get that scheduled tomorrow or the beginning of next week. The meds seem to be helping with the mood swings and lack of energy. At least we are moving in the right direction, even if it is slowly!

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