Thursday, February 26, 2009

Feel the Love!!!!!

What started out as a way to express my feeling and not keep thing inside has, I guess in some way, touched someone else. Either by giving them a good laugh, information or just an understanding that you are not alone.

Thanks Colleen!!!! Check out her blog at

So here are the rules:
Put the logo on your blog or post.
Nominate at least 10 blogs with show great attitude and/or gratitude.
Be sure to link to your nominees in your post
Let your nominees know they have received the award by leaving them a comment on their blog
And be sure to link this post to the person who nominated you for the award.
Here are some blogs that have helped me get through… ~ Jody's Blog
~ Jekka's Blog ~ Beth's Blog ~ Rena's Blog ~ Gina's Blog ~ Joy's Blog ~ Mindy's Blog ~ Kendra's Blog ~ Misty Dawn's Blog ~ Nicky's Blog

Tuesday, February 24, 2009


Why?!?!?! I really need to move south. I love snow, but only the first 2-3 snow storms. Here it is the end of February and what do we get yesterday, 7-8 inches more of snow. Just when I thought the shit was going to melt. Of course it wasn't just snow, it started out Sunday night as rain which turned to wet snow, then some fluffy snow and then wet snow again. So it's as heavy as can be!

In other news, The carpet is down in the basement. John also has his tv mounted on the wall and all the stereo components hooked up.

Here is a close up of the carpet. It looks GREAT with the wall color!

ALSO! Happy 21st Birthday Jekka and T.J.! PARTY TIME!!!!!!

Sunday, February 22, 2009

All I want to do is Scream!

WHY??????? Why is it that people who are not financially stable can get pregnant on a whim? Not that they don't deserve to have children, if that is what they really want, but really, you can't support yourself and the children you have, why would you add to the mix....on purpose?!?!?!

I have some mixed feelings about this news. I am happy for them because they are great parents, but I am sad for myself. Here we are at the 2 year 2 month mark and NOTHING! I really am having a hard time today after this news. I thought that I was OK with this last cycle being a bust, but then this news comes and it almost completely destroys me. I am holding it together, but not by much. I just want to know when it will be my turn?!?!?!

I guess I just have to continue to be patient and hope and pray that my day comes again soon. Here is were I start to feel guilty. Why can't I just be happy with the child I have? I guess it is because I never wanted to have an only child. I also didn't want to have a lot of years between them. I guess one of thos wishes is no longer going to be the case. Let's just hope it's not the having an only child one.

As all things, this too shall pass, but I am just tired of it every month. I just wish some people who I know could understand that better!

On a happier Note! Welcome Thomas Michael....born 2/19/09 at 9:57 pm weighing 9 pounds 5.4 ounces and 20 3/4 inches long!!!!! Big Boy!

Also awaiting the arrival of Leo and Tyler!!!!!!!

Saturday, February 21, 2009

CD 1

Ahhhhhhhh. That is all I want to scream at the top of my lungs! Going to try the Soy again. CD 5-9 this cycle. Seems to help and at least I Ovulated normally. Again, I had some IPS (imaginary pregnancy symptoms). Nauseousness, sore breasts, fatigue, and cravings. I really thought we may have hit a lucky month, and once again the truth comes and crushes my dreams. Surprisingly, I am not that upset. I guess I am getting to the point were I expect the negative every month. All I can do is keep going along and pray that God sees fit to bless us with another child.

One more cycle and we are back to the Dr. with the big drugs.

Friday, February 20, 2009

What's Going On?!?!?!

Not a lot going on here. Bought a Wii Fit yesterday. It is fun! Lot of exercised and activities to do! Can't wait to unlock more of them!

The basement is coming along. We picked up the few odd and end electrical things and picked out the carpet. Hopefully that will go down this week.

John's TV is mounted to wall, waiting for us to enjoy it. Hopefully as soon as the carpet is installed we can! Now John is talking about getting new living room furniture and moving what we have down there. Man that boy has some BIG dreams. I guess he thinks I have a money tree planted out back. I am hoping once 'his room' is done, he will stop complaining about always having to spend our money on bills! Welcome to reality! When most of the bills we have is because of him. We had to go buy the Envoy, even though we had a perfectly good vehicle to use. We had to have the cell phones when i was pregnant so he could get a hold of me. But he doesn't look at it that way. Looks at all the spoiling he does on me and he NEVER gets anything. Typical Man. He never sees what he has, just what he doesn't!

Also....damn AF showed her face tonight. So on to cycle 28......I'm not upset, just tired. I just wanna be able to go 'oh, I'm late.....I may be pregnant. What a surprise!' Guess I should give up that dream!
So tomorrow night I will drown my pity in a (2 or 3 or 4) alcoholic drinks and be ready for the next cycle by Sunday. One more cycle and we go back to the Dr. Kinda refreshing and hopeful! Come on BFP!!!!!

PS.....Welcome Baby COTE! 9.5 pounds ~ 21 inches long! Congrats Jen and Chris!

Tuesday, February 17, 2009


We have been working on finishing the basement since before the holidays. Then the holidays came and we didn't have time. Well, since the first of the year we have been really plugging along at it. I am happy to say that it was painted last night. I love it. We still have some way to go. Still needs a carpet and a ceiling, but that is all in the works. Here are some updated pictures! If you can imagine, the entire space was so full of boxes that we had a hard time moving around. Also the pictures are from roughly the same angle, so you can see the improvement!

When the work started the beginning of 2009!

All the Drywall up and and ready for the primer and paint!

And the finished paint Job. The color is Cranberry Zing!

Friday, February 13, 2009


My first full 8 hour day. Man am I tired...LOL It was good, a lot of work ahead of me, but I know I can do it. I will be working from home on the days I can't get into the office, and once the work is caught up and fixed, I will be going in to train the new person who will be doing the job. I really hope that the next person is more qualified and will do a better job!

I have to say today was one of the weirdest day I have actually had. It started off good, I got to the job and began working and began having weird stomach pains. Then I had a bout of nauseousness, luckily I had put a starlight mint in my mouth. Once the mint was gone, I had another attack that I couldn't stop. Now, mind you the last time I vomited at work was when I was pregnant with Jocelynn. Anyhoo, after I felt really good and I was starving! About 45 minutes later, my lunch arrived and I ate so fast.....It actually felt good in my belly. It tasted off, which was funny to me.

I was feeling really good for about 2 hours, and then the pain and nauseousness came back. Since about 2:00 I have been living on starlight mints to help with this. The funny thing is I don;t feel bad, just nauseous. I also have been starving, but NOTHING sounds good!

Here is my dilemma! Today I am 7DPO and today my temp too a small nosedive. This is all good! I really hope this is it, but on the same hand, I don't wanna get my hopes up for them to come crashing down!

It is all a waiting game. I won't call the Dr. until March 4th to find out. I don't want to call until I am truely late. My cycle is due to start on 2/23/09. Please pray for us. I really want this journey to come to an end!

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

I made it....

So I made it through yesterday without a break down. It actually wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be.

On another note, I went back to work least for a few weeks. I haven't worked at the Humane Society since May of 2008. Well, apparently my replacement didn't work out and they called to ask if I would come back, 2 days a week until they can find another replacement. Today was my first day back. I will be working Tuesdays (7-9:45am) and all day Fridays. It was nice to get out of the house, have some adult conversation and just feel like I accomplished something. I kept thinking I would like to do this (if the position allowed for it...LOL)

Even though I haven't done the work for 7 months, it was like riding a bike, I guess it is drilled in my head after doing the work for 4 years...LOL

So I go back Friday, that will be my interesting day since it will be a full 6-8 hours. Depends on what I get done and what needs to be done!

Sunday, February 8, 2009


Life has a very funny way of knocking you back to reality! The past few days have been the worst and the best days of my life.....sounds funny. I am now realizing, as Tuesday approaches that I am having a harder time facing the fact that I will be 30. I know it isn't a hugh number, but I am troubled just the same. I just can't seem to make myself believe that 30 is the new 20...LMAO. I'm not old, just more experienced.

So less then 36 hours and I will have crossed over from twenty something to 30. Can I just freeze time and be 29 forever? Also, why is this so bothersome to me? Is it because I always said I would be done having kids by the time I was 30 and here I am not even close! Is it the fact that I feel the need to be more mature then I am willing to be (Yes I am in love with a vampire....LOL). I wanna be a Toys'R'Us Kid....LOL

I don't understand my frustration and anxiety. Maybe it is all in my head. Maybe I think I will wake up Tuesday morning and have to be placed in a nursing home. Maybe I think I will wake up in so much pain and that every moment will be painful. I guess it the not knowing what to expect. Deep in the back of my mind, it is just another day and I won't see any difference from any other day.

On another Note, John took me out last night for my birthday. He can be so sweet when he actually puts forth an effort. (We can't go out Tuesday night because I will have the baby to watch). We went to our favorite restaurant, Bugaboo Creek Steakhouse and then he surprised me with a trip the Jared's. It was unexpected and I found a beautiful pair of Blue Topaz earrings. I wasn't really expecting too much, just a nice dinner and some time alone with him. But the earrings were a nice surprise.

Friday, February 6, 2009

John's Dr. Appointment

John went yesterday for the beginning of his many, many, many allergy shots. He goes Monday to get the first real shot. Yesterday was just another test to make sure his allergies hadn't changed in the last few months.
John, surprisingly enough, is not completely dreading this. He is sick of this crap and wants to be as healthy as he can be.

The Dr. did tell us that the allergy shot work in about 80% of her patients. I have a sinking feeling that John is in the 20%. That is just me usual pessimistic side. I am trying to think positively. He will never be 'cured'. It doesn't work that was for adults. She is hoping to get his allergy shots down to 1x a month, but she has a feeling that he will have to stay at 2x a month because his allergies are so severe.

I guess only time will tell.

She is restoring my faith in her as a Dr. She wants to place John on Nasonex, a steroid that he sprays in his nose 2x a day. The insurance company has declined to pay for this. The Dr. Nurse has been in contact with the insurance company with no luck, so the Dr. is getting involved. She is hand writing why he need this drug and is going to continue to push until they approve it. I hate insurance companies! This is really life or death for John. Would they rather pay mega hospitals bills or this small bill every month? Sometimes I believe only idiots work at the insurance companies!

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Update on John

John went back to the Dr. yesterday. He has been out of work again (2 days) with severe sinus pressure. Sure enough he has polyps. A mass of them which is not allowing his sinuses to drain. Once again he is on Prednizone to help with them and will be starting allergy shots to help keep them at bay. He was also placed on a nasal spray, but the stupid pharmacy wouldn't fill it. The Dr. gave the dosage at 2x the normal level because of his polyps. The prescription was hand written by the Dr. WTF. So of course by the time we get to the pharmacy and they actually look at the prescription, the Dr. office is closed so they can't call to confirm. gaah.... So this morning John called the Dr. office and told them what was going on, 1 hour later he called the Pharmacy and still nothing. I will give them until noon and then I am going to start ripping some heads off! We are in the process of changing pharmacies because lately we have had nothing but issues with this one!

His thyroid testing came back with a few off levels but not enough for the Dr. to do anything right now, John will be tested again in 2 months to recheck the levels.

Other then that, Jocelynn and I are feeling much better. Still not 100%, but getting there.

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