Sunday, February 22, 2009

All I want to do is Scream!

WHY??????? Why is it that people who are not financially stable can get pregnant on a whim? Not that they don't deserve to have children, if that is what they really want, but really, you can't support yourself and the children you have, why would you add to the mix....on purpose?!?!?!

I have some mixed feelings about this news. I am happy for them because they are great parents, but I am sad for myself. Here we are at the 2 year 2 month mark and NOTHING! I really am having a hard time today after this news. I thought that I was OK with this last cycle being a bust, but then this news comes and it almost completely destroys me. I am holding it together, but not by much. I just want to know when it will be my turn?!?!?!

I guess I just have to continue to be patient and hope and pray that my day comes again soon. Here is were I start to feel guilty. Why can't I just be happy with the child I have? I guess it is because I never wanted to have an only child. I also didn't want to have a lot of years between them. I guess one of thos wishes is no longer going to be the case. Let's just hope it's not the having an only child one.

As all things, this too shall pass, but I am just tired of it every month. I just wish some people who I know could understand that better!

On a happier Note! Welcome Thomas Michael....born 2/19/09 at 9:57 pm weighing 9 pounds 5.4 ounces and 20 3/4 inches long!!!!! Big Boy!

Also awaiting the arrival of Leo and Tyler!!!!!!!

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